March 14, 2023
STEALING IN THE NAME OF THE LORD WITH A WAR ON AFRICAN CULTURE
Hello there!
I am Harry Agina, and this is Afro-Scope, beaming episode 4 of our AfroCultural drama series, titled, “In God’s Name.” Of course, wherever there is edition 4 of anything, there must be editions 1 to 3 lurking around somewhere nearby. All that long grammar just to say that we have the links to episodes 1 to 3 of this series for you at the end of this in case you missed them.
“In God’s Name” is about African Religions, Christianity, and ignorant destruction of the African Culture by Africans themselves. We maintain that the mischievous new-wave commercial Pentecostal Christian pastors and their ignorant followers are the main culprits of the senseless ironical AfroCultural-destruction. In episode 3, we saw that Kono, the Pentecostal Christian faithful was in a sort of dilemma over his pastor’s “spiritual revelations” about him.
Do remember, or be informed if you didn’t know, that this series is based on millions of true, real stories of the happenings in Africa today. Indeed, several of such are happening even as I write this. There is no fiction on Afro-Scope.com. Enough of my preamble. Let’s get to Michael Shaibu’s episode 4 of “In God’s Name.”
When we left Kono and his wife at the end of the last episode, they were in a conversation. With a frown on his face, he suddenly went silent, and went in a thoughtful, or reflective mood. A conflict had set in between his Pentecostal Christian beliefs and his African traditional religious stuffs. Now, let’s see what’s up next:
“IN GOD’S NAME 4
- INTERNAL, IN DINING ROOM; IN THE EVENING.
KONO IS NOW EATING THE CUT FRUITS, STILL THOUGHTFUL. SELA IS WATCHING HIM, WAITING FOR HIS RESPONSE. BUT SHE IS NOT GETTING ANY, SHAKES HER HEAD…
SELA: Well…?
KONO: Well what?
SELA: I just told you what my Mom said and what I told her. Don’t you have anything to say about it?
KONO: Well, actually I don’t know. I mean I have heard about such before. But I don’t know the efficacy of it.
SELA: Well, my Mom is an Osun worshipper, you know that. And she is versed in herbal stuff too. I know she must be saying the truth. I just want you to make the decisions, that’s all.
KONO: Okay, okay, okay! Just let me think about it a bit.
SELA (Surrenders): Very well. I hope this does not take you forever to think about like the issue of going to the prophet for those prayers. Though, if you ask me, I think we should pass the prayers thing.
KONO: Pass? Why?
SELA: Because, like I told my Mom, that so-called prophet was clearly a fraud. And, if you ask me, that goes for all so-called men of God who ask for money in exchange for prayers.
KONO GOES SILENT AND CONTINUES EATING HIS CUT FRUITS…
SELA (Thinks a bit): You said the pastor called you for lunch but not for food.
KONO: Yes.
SELA: I see. What for then?
KONO: Well, we had a long talk. Or should I say he had a long talk with me.
SELA: Not about me, I hope?
KONO: About you? Why would it be about you?
SELA: I don’t know. I just see the way he looks at me. I know he does not see me as spiritually serious. I have this belief that he would one day ask his wife to have a talk with me.
SELA CHUCKLES A BIT. KONO ONLY SMILES, SHRUGS, AND CONTINUES EATING…
SELA: Anyway, so what was the talk about? Or did he say not to mention it to me?
KONO: No, of course not. He just praised and commended me for being zealous in my financial contributions to the church.
SELA: Oh, that’s good. But uh…was that all?
KONO: Well, no! He said I was carrying an ancestral curse!
SELA: Aha! I knew that was coming! And…?
KONO: And nothing! He said he made it a prayer point. And that he had fasted and prayed over it for a whole week. And that the curse had been totally lifted.
SELA: And that was all?
KONO: That was all.
SELA : Well, then I am amazed!
KONO: Yeah, me too. Only that we should decide how to do a thanksgiving that befits what the Lord has done for me.
SELA SITS FORWARD SHARPLY, EYES POPPING OUT WITH A FAKE SMILE…
SELA: A thanksgiving that befits what the lord has done, hun? I knew it.
SELA BEGINS TO SHAKE HER HEAD SLOWLY LIKE SHE IS LOSING HER HUSBAND TO THE PASTOR…
- INT. PASTOR’S OFFICE. EVENING.
HE IS PACING AND MUBLING TO HIMSELF. THEN HE WALKS OVER TO HIS DESK, SITS, GETS HIS MOBILE PHONE, AND BEGINS TO DIAL.
PULL OUT AND DIVIDE SCREEN IN TWO TO ACCOMMODATE KONO AND SELA AT THEIR DINING. KONO’S MOBILE BEGINS TO RING. HE PICKS IT AND LOOKS AT THE SCREEN: PASTOR CALLING…
KONO: Good evening Pastor.
PASTOR: Brother Kono! Calvary greetings to you this evening? How is sister Sela?
KONO: She is very well, thank you.
PASTOR: Good. Good! So…I hope you are considering what we talked about earlier? It is not something to let drag.
KONO: Oh, of course, no sir. We were actually talking about it when your call came in.
PASTOR: Great! Because God appreciates being taken serious. And He appreciates the man who appreciates His goodness.
KONO: I understand that, pastor.
PASTOR: So do you think I should create a space for it in one of our programs within the next week or thereabouts?
KONO: Uh…uh…uh…
PASTOR (Cuts in): No, no, no there is no rush actually. We could still make it the next two weeks. Only that…the earlier, the better. And of course, don’t forget my suggestion on how befitting it should be.
KONO: Yes, pastor.
PASROR: Good. Get back to me as soon as you can over this. We want things to run smoothly. So I need to put it in our schedules. I mean such a huge thing should either stand alone or…you know what I mean?
KONO: Yes, pastor.
PASTOR: Good. Good. Warm regards to sister Sela then.
KONO: I will give it to her, sir. Good night.
THEY SAY THEIR GOOD NIGHTS AND CUT THE CALL…
- INT. DINING. EVENING.
SELA IS EAGERLY WATCHING KONO TO HEAR WHAT THE PASTOR SAID. KONO PIKS AND THROWS A PIECE OF FRUIT INTO HIS MOUTH AND BEGINS TO CHEW…
KONO: He said to give you his warm regards.
SELA: I know. But what was the call about? He has never called this late before!
KONO: Well, everything has a beginning, doesn’t it? Plus, he talked about not letting the thanksgiving drag, which is thoughtful of him, I’d say.
SELA: I knew it! I knew it!
KONO: You knew what? Stop this. Can you imagine carrying an ancestral curse all these years? He said I’d have been in the league of Otedola, Dangote, and Adenuga now.
SELA: So you believed him that you were actually carrying ancestral curse then?
KONO: Well, why not? If he said it then God must have somehow revealed hit to-
SELA (Cuts in): Honey, just stop it! Aren’t there many of your mates whom you are much, much better than? Must we be so ambitious as to dream of rubbing shoulders with the super-rich?
KONO: Well, not really. But are they not human beings too? Do they have two heads?
SELA: Well, true. They are human beings and they don’t have two heads each. But most of them were born into money. You were not!
THEY FALL SILENT FOR A WHILE…
SELA: So this befitting thanksgiving…we are actually going to do it?
KONO: Well, I don’t see why not.
SELA: And how befitting are looking at?
KONO: He suggested to have in mind how much king Solomon spent when inaugurating the completed temple.
SELA’S EYES POP OUT AND SHE BEGINS TO SHAKE HER HEAD SLOWLY…
END
Written by Michael Shaibu
If you started with us from the start, you may recall that Kono’s so-called pastor did not speak well of Kono’s wife, Sela, in episode one, when he invited Kono to lunch. He mischievously discouraged Kono from bringing her to the so-called lunch, where he offered neither a meal nor a drink—typical! The funky pastor went as far as telling Kono that women can often be a clog in the way of spiritual salvation. Very unrealistic! If anything, it’s quite the opposite. Men are the clog in spirituality, relatively speaking. The simple proof is easy to demonstrate. Go to the Pentecostal churches in Nigeria on any Sunday or any fellowship day, and you’ll see the proof, in form of numbers. Furthermore, they literarily give their true “widow’s mite” to the funky pastors. Kono’s funky pastor does know this fact, but it served his purpose to twist it around.
I swear it; once upon a trip to Nigeria, a woman approached me to beg for “transport fare back home.” I was digging in my pocket for some money when she made the mistake of chatting me up that she came to church, and her money was finished. My hand froze in my pocket, and a conversation ensured, thus:
ME: Wait, you came to church, and you have no money to go back home?
THE LADY (Obviously proud of herself): Yes, sir.
ME: O yeah? Now I don’t have any money for you. You are too foolish for my money.
SHE LOOKED AT ME AS IF SHE JUST SAW THE DEVIL HIMSELF. SHE COULDN’T FATHOM WHY I SUDDENLY REFUSED TO GIVE HER THE MONEY BECAUSE SHE WENT TO “SERVE GOD.” SHE OBVIOUSLY HAD THOUGHT THAT I WOULD INCREASE MY GIVING FOR THAT REASON.
ME: Why did you go to church, or pay offerings, if you didn’t have enough money to go home? It is foolish ignorant Christianity!
THE WOMAN WAS APPARENTLY TOO STUNNED BY MY REACTION TO SAY A WORD. SHE HUMBLY TURNED AND SARTED TO WALK AWAY. AND THEN…
ME: Excuse me, ma’am…
SHE TURNED…AND MY HAND WAS STRETCHED OUT, OFFERING HER THE MONEY…SHE CAME BACK. I HANDED HER THE MONEY BEFORE I TALKED…
ME (Repentant): But, truly ma’am, it is wrong to go to church without money to go back home. Whether you gave it all away in church, or you left home without enough money; it doesn’t make sense to me. True worship of God through Christ is in the heart, by behaving like Christ, not by going to church. Stay home and pray sincerely well when you have no transport fare. Trust me, if you follow the Ten Commandments, through the teachings of Christ and pray in your house; God will always hear you equally. Your pastor is not God.
THE LADY: Thank you so much, sir.
SOMETHING TOLD ME THAT SHE UNDERSTOOD AND BELIEVED MY POINT. SHE WAS ABOUT TO KNEEL TO THANK MY WHEN I DRAGGED HER UP.
Anyway, my point is that Nigerian women cannot rightly be said to be a clog in spiritual salvation as Kono’s funky pastor had claimed. The last scene above tells us why the pastor had gone through all that mischief to avoid Sela; doesn’t it? He had already observed that Sela is not as ignorant and gullible as her husband. And that’s a huge twist, by the way. From his words so far, it appears that Kono is among the relatively few men who fall for the scams of the funky pastors in Africa. It’s usually the other way round. The wives are the vulnerable and gullible ones who try to convince their husbands to do the biddings of the pastors. And, as I always point out, Nigeria, in West Africa, is the headquarters of this new-wave commercialized Pentecostal Christianity.
You must want to find out what happens next in the next episode; don’t ya? Of course, you do. Please click the subscribe buttons near you right now, to this sight and all our social media handles if you haven’t done so. That way, you’ll be informed when we publish this and other productions. Thanks a million for obliging, and by for now, from Harry Agina.
LINK TO EPISODE 5 OF “IN GOD’S NAME”:
