THE INVASION OF THE FUNKY PASTORS, PART 15

Post author:Harry Agina
Post published:March 14, 2024
Post category:No Bullshitting / Religions In Africa
Post comments:12 Comments

NOTE: This was first published on January 2, 2017. The situation of Nigeria’s Contemporary Commercialized Christianity and the crooks called pastors is getting worse.

Greetings!

They call me Harry Agina, and I truly hate the new-wave wealth-hunting Pentecostal Christian pastors in Nigeria today! My grouse this time is the Nigerian trending craze of nonsensical prayers and/or so-called “prophesies.” They are flying all over the social media now.

I did say in my first 2017 commentary on spirituality that many “born-again” Christians are going to hate me this year. And, of course, those that are born again and again, ten times, will hate me that many times more. And, some of them, especially pastors who see me as bad business, will be sending their devilish so-called “Holy Ghost Fire” to consume me. It’s all in vain, I always add! I am certain that nobody born of man can do anything through ‘airwaves’ (or spirit) to me!!!! Guess why? I speak the truth, and so, God is on my side, and no power is greater than His. Importantly also, I don’t subscribe to the such warfare, so it doesn’t subscribe to me, period! Anybody that is truly spiritual or religious (Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Pagan, or whatever) knows this fact!!!!

I have always said that I don’t really give a hoot who hates me for vehemently condemning the Nigerian ignorantly bastardized “born-again” rubbish! I do appreciate those who my commentaries will jar out of their funky-pastor-induced trance. It’s good to know that they have realized that they are being “hoodwinked” by crooks. Many have told me so. And, of course, I appreciate the good people out there who encourage commentaries such as mine. They appreciate that we aim to stop the evil commercialization of Christianity in Nigeria, with its resultant untold socio-cultural destruction.

Now, to the reason for this particular piece—the trending social media craze of prayers or “prophetic” statements. I have personally said this to some of my friends; now I want to say it publicly here. I do so on any other platforms, thus—Please don’t send those prayers or so-called prophetic statements to me!!! Whenever I need favors from God (which I always do), I talk to God by my own self in my own words. I do that quite often, mind you. I do it even as I go about my duties every minute of my life. In fact, if you catch me unawares sometimes you would think I’ve gone bunkers as it seems that I am talking to myself. Yes, indeed! Nobody on earth can talk to God about me and my needs better than I, period!!! So, you see—I don’t need anybody’s prophesies or prayers. This is even more so because I know for sure that some of the prayers actually originate from the worst kind of person to pray for anybody. They originate from people who commit more evil in a single day than I can ever imagine to commit all my life. And Nigerians are circulating their so-called prayers with foolish passion.

Note that I am not saying that I am such a great righteous guy; no sir! But, when any good thing happens in my life, no pastor (or whatever) is going to claim that it comes from his prophesy or prayers. It is their gimmick to demand some portions of my goodies in their criminal name of tithe! I get what I get from God who blesses the work of my hand and brain!!!

Now, I want to talk to my readers who don’t know the secret of the efficacy of prayer. In other words, the people who may not know what we all really need to do much more than the hypocritical prayers. Just behave and act as Christ-like and as Godly as humanly possible! Not to leave out Muslims, Hindi, Buddhists, and others, I say act and behave according to the righteous teachings of your religious/spiritual Messiah as Christ is for Christians. And the bottom line is—be good to your neighbor, and do the right thing, always!!! Well, I mean, be good as much as humanly possible; knowing that it is difficult to be perfect. That’s our ultimate practical prayer;and not the often infantile rhetoric we call prayers. Annoyingly to me, we are urged to pass around some so-called prophesies through the social media platforms.

Here’s what I really think about the social media craze—they are instigated by providers of the modes of our social media, including Whatsapp, Facebook. Telephone companies (especially the ones that facilitate WhatsApp) are probably in on the scam, too. They are probably generating those infantile prayers to pass around. If you haven’t thought of it, here’s the reason—the more we pass around those stuffs, the faster we burn our ‘credits’ or data. And the faster we purchase more data, the more money they make…QED!!! And, guess what; my mama didn’t give birth to me as a fool to fall for such marketing gimmicks!!! So, yes, I hate the nonsensicality of passing around a so-called prophesy, which was constructed by somebody who is probably as evil as the devil himself. And now you know my second economic reason for rejecting them. I use my credit and time for something useful!!!

Now, check this out, and quote me anywhere—I don’t care if the prayer or prophesy comes from the highest revered man of God, you are wasting your doggone time if you don’t do the right thing! It doesn’t make a difference if it’s from the Pope, or the Archbishop of Canterbury, or your most revered General Overseer, as the Pentecostal Christianity has it! And, most times in every situation, we all know what “The right thing” is, but the devil in us convinces us to do it his bad way. Thereafter some of us go seeking reparation in various ways. To me, the most ridiculous of ways is that some of us actually believe that we can pay god off and he will forgive our atrocities. What makes it actually hilariously ridiculous is that some do not even know the right way to “bribe God” for forgiveness. They are unaware that they should simply help their suffering fellow man as much as they possibly can, and that’s all!!! They ignorantly choose to give all their money to their fellow human scammers who call themselves men of God or pastors. The fake “men of God” happen to be crafty enough to brainwash and spiritually extort them, with thwarted scripture of tithe and suchlike.

The funny, silly thing to me about the prayer-cum-prophesy craze in Nigeria is the conditions that are attached to the doggone campaign to circulate the prayers. Some tell you that you will miss out on God’s blessing and miracles if you don’t circulate them. Others tell you the number of persons that you must send the messages in order to receive the miracle. When did God tell them all this nonsense, I ask? I have stated my thought about the origin of the crap about the number of times that you must circulate messages in order to receive God’s blessing. It is possible to be the craft of the telecom companies who benefit from the volume of traffic on WhatsApp and other platforms…umm huh!!