January 24, 2023

No Bullshitting!!! (By Harry Agina)




I am Harry Agina, and this is No Bullshitting, the radical Socio-Political Critic. This piece is about the most ironic, most laughable, most hypocritical bullshit that I have heard in 2023…maybe even in the past one year. It is about the disgraceful foolishness of one Festus Keyamo of Nigeria. It’s about this dude who is living in a glass house and idiotic enough to be throwing stones at enemies outside. That was just a few days back, meeeeeeeen!!!

In a press conference, Barrister Festus Keyamo issued a frivolous, indeed, an idiotically infantile ultimatum to Nigeria’s law enforcement agencies. He gave the agencies 72 hours to arrest Atiku Abubakar for corruption. Abubakar is the 2023 presidential candidate of Nigeria’s main opposition political party, the PDP. Keyamo wanted Atiku picked up within 72 hours, questioned, and prosecuted on corruption charges before the 2023 presidential race next February. 72 hours have since come and ticked away, and I haven’t heard any shit happening to Atiku Abubakar, meeeeeen!!!

Keyamo is a minister in President Buhari’s government. The dude is in Nigeria’s celebrated class of lawyers, who they call “Senior Advocates of Nigeria.” He must have known that his fucked-up ultimatum was just that—totally fucked up! It is ironically ridiculous…or ridiculously ironical. It is made so ridiculous by the fact that Keyamo is the head of the presidential campaign of Bola Ahmed Tinubu. It behooves me to tell my readers who may not know, the reason why being the head of Tinubu’s campaign makes Keyamo’s move so ridiculous and ironical. If anybody must be arrested, it must be Keyamo’s principal, Bola Tinubu. As far as I know, Tinubu is the most indicted and most convicted and most alleged criminal in the politics of Nigeria today, since 1999, meeeeeeeen!!!

Sincerely, anybody who is selling Bola Ahmed Tinubu as president of Nigeria should be too ashamed to challenge the integrity of any other Nigerian. Festus Keyamo has no moral right to come up with his trending political stunt. It’s clearly an idiotic violation of the adage that he/she “who lives in a glass house should not throw stones at people.” In his hatchet job for Tinubu, Keyamo ridiculously, hypocritically, senselessly twists every proven allegation against the man upside-down. Keyamo knows that his Tinubu is a proverbial glass house, from where nobody should throw a stone. So, why the fuck did Keyamo throw the trending stone at Atiku, meeeeeeen?!!!

Evil hypocritical politics of Nigeria happened; that’s why! Without repeating my consistent condemnation of President Buhari’s government, I’ll just capture the key point in a couple of sentences. Buhari’s government is the worst government that Nigeria has ever had. Hopefully, it will be the worst forever…never to have a useless president like him again! Yet, Keyamo and his heartless kind have been telling the world that Buhari is a great man. Now, the motherfucking Keyamo is working hard to sell Tinubu to replace Buhari as president, to complete the destruction of Nigerian from where Buhari is stopping. All that, for evil political power, and to make what I call blood money. Yes, blood money indeed, because he and his kind do not mind that millions of Nigerians are dying in the hell created by Buhari, Tinubu, and their deadly kinds, meeeeeeeen!!!

Trust me, if you didn’t know, Tinubu certainly dishes out some good clearly stolen and drug bucks for hatchet jobs like what Keyamo is doing now. Of course, Keyamo knows that their APC political party, the government of Muhammadu Buhari, and Tinubu are unsellable to Nigerian voters. So, APC and Tinubu have two options in the 2023 presidential election. One is to rig the election. And the other is to cause distractions. Umm huh, distractions! That’s all that Keyamo is doing with his idiotic call for the arrest of Atiku Abubakar. It’s the only game that Keyamo and his kind in APC can play now. They have nothing else to campaign on, against any candidate—no achievements, or anything good to campaign on, meeeeeeeeeen!!!

No wonder, Bola Tinubu has invented all manner of gibberish words that nobody can understand because he has nothing sensible to say. Not even the son of a gun can make any sense out of some of the shit that comes out of his mouth in his seemingly drunken stupor whenever he is campaigning for votes. His memory-loss due to his apparent mental illness is as clear as daylight. Most of his utterances are senseless rubbish. And we’re talking here about a man who has the audacity to tell Nigerians that he does not owe us any TV interviews or debates to sell his candidacy. That’s clearly because he has no memory to answer any question or address any issue without talking like a mad man. And yet, he consistently tells us that he has already won the election! If this is not a clear mark of impunity and audacity of an election-rigger, then I don’t know what else is! How else does he intend to “have already won” the election when he is arrogant and disdainful to the voters, meeeeeen?!!!

I mince no words to say that Tinubu is a master election-rigger. And election rigging in Nigeria always amounts to the murder of scores of Nigerians during elections. Now, it’s up to you to decide what you make out of these known facts. You may postulate that any election-rigger in Nigeria is a murderer through proxies…if you like! All that I can tell you, within the law, is that Tinubu is a known election-rigging master! He openly said that Nigeria’s 2022 electoral reform Act must not be applied in the 2023 elections. The crook openly insisted that the entire electronic voting reform (which prevents rigging) must be discarded. And he has fought tooth-and-nail to get the reform discarded for real. He has failed on that, and he has apparently been scheming to get the election-umpire’s chairman removed, because the umpire insists on the electoral reform.

One good thing in the entire APC-cum-Tinubu rigging schemes is that President Buhari is not so keen on bequeathing the presidency to Tinubu. I truly believe so, and I have blogged about it more than once from various perspectives. So, Tinubu’s rigging schemes apparently fail because he lacks Buhari’s full federal government support. And this is the man that Festus Keyamo is marketing to become Nigeria’s president. Yet, Keyamo is not ashamed to bring up the corruption allegations of a much better candidate than his sick crooked Tinubu.

We have great Nigerians like one Ikenga Ugochinyere and the heroes of his coalition of opposition political parties that is known as CUPP, to thank for destroying APC’s rigging plots. No wonder, several attempts have been made on their lives, and their relatives were killed in some of the attempts. Mind you, some persons had openly threatened the lives of the anti-rigging activists such as, and including Ikenga Ugochinyere, shortly before they were attacked. And quite curiously, the persons who had issued the threats, publicly and unequivocally, are not being arrested for questioning before or after the attacks. So, CUPP has justifiably accused Nigeria Police of complicity in the killings and other mayhem against the credible-elections-activists. The coalition also openly accuses the APC government of Imo State of sponsoring the mayhem against Ikenga Ugochinyere.

Now, let’s cut back to the chase—Festus Keyamo’s focked-up 72-hours ultimatum to Nigeria’s law enforcement agencies. It is obviously the new battleground for APC and Tinubu after the failure of all their rigging schemes. However, I must put something straight to you at this point! I am not, by this writing, saying that Atiku Aubakar is innocent of the accusations or allegations against him by Festus Keyamo. Hell fucking no! The man called Atiku is widely and openly alleged by Nigerians to be very corrupt, too. A much nicer man than Tinubu in some ways, yes; but very corrupt all the same! Allegations of his corrupt activities when he was Nigeria’s vice president and when he was in Nigeria Customs Service are still reverberating in the air ‘til date. So, I will repeat what annoys the hell outta me about the motherfucking press conference by Keyamo. He is a big foolish hypocrite, that’s what! And I hate hypocrisy with a passion, meeeeeeeeen!!!

Yes indeed, it is so annoying that Keyamo has the audacity to talk about anybody’s crime. He lost the moral right as soon as he became the head of the presidential campaign of Bola Tinubu. Why? Because Tinubu is the most criminal and corrupt Nigerian that I’ve ever heard of; that’s why! Keyamo is clearly selling Tinubu to Nigerians as president for his selfish gains, and that makes him one of the most unpatriotic Nigerians that I know now. He must know that the sick crook and their APC party would destroy whatever is left by Buhari’s destructive government. But he doesn’t give a damn about that, as long as he makes his selfish gains. And yet, the motherfucker has the audacity to issue ultimatum for the arrest of another corrupt candidate, meeeeeeeeen!!!

Let’s face it, Keyamo is just another terrible propagandist of the ruling APC political party and the clueless President Muhammadu Buhari. All that he is doing now is to divert the attention of Nigerian voters because APC and Tinubu have nothing positive to campaign on. Keyamo wants Nigerians to forget all the horrors that they are going through in the hands of Buhari and his deadly APC government in the past seven-and-odd years. As usual with Buhari’s team of evil propagandists, Keyamo believes that Nigerians are as stupid as they (the propagandists) are. They expect Nigerians to buy such infantile diversion as a reason to vote for Tinubu. That, on its own, is an insult to intelligent Nigerians. Umm huh, I do feel insulted by Keyamo for that idiotic 72-hours ultimatum, meeeeeeen!!!

I must tell ya, anybody who tells you that Nigerians will vote for APC and Bola Tinubu as president is either insane, ignorant, or terrible hypocritical. Nigerians are not masochists, and they can’t possibly be enjoying the current hell that APC and Buhari have plunged them into. I always tell Tinubu’s supporters—if you have your selfish interests to back Tinubu for president, I do understand. Even the devil himself has supporters among humankind, for their various reasons, I always say. But don’t give me the crap that you truly believe that Nigerians will willingly make Tinubu the president! We’re talking about a man who has stolen Lagos State blind since 1999, and every sane Nigerian knows this. He is a drug pusher, allegedly a drug addict, too. It is repeatedly-evident that he is mentally and physically sick. But he is dying to become president before he completely drops dead. He wants to do this by any means. Now the crook has instigated Festus Keyamo to disgrace himself by issuing an idiotic ultimatum to our law enforcement agencies to arrest another alleged crook. I repeat, Atiku is also known to be quite corrupt. But he is a saint when compared to Keyamo’s dying criminal candidate, Bola Tinubu!

I will end this with one great thing that is going on while Tinubu and Atiku fight over who is more criminal than the other. The hope for the Peter Obi divine rescue of Nigeria is rising. The two frontrunning old dudes are destroying each other with ugly facts about their characters and pasts. Meanwhile, the popularity of Peter Obi who has been tested and found not wanting in presidential integrity is soaring. Truly, the emergence of Peter Obi as presidential candidate, and the sudden revolution around him, reminds me of the biblical David who slayed Goliath to save his people, meeeeeeeen!!!

Suddenly, a man without their overrated, so-called “political structure” emerges from virtually nowhere as presidential candidate. Suddenly, he is giving two frontrunning political giants some major sleepless nights. They are suddenly, justifiable, afraid of losing the presidential election to this “nobody.” And the drivers of this phenomenon are (1) Nigerian youths who have finally woken from their political apathy slumber. They now want to take back their country from long-recycled old destroyers of Nigeria. (2) As a past state governor, Peter Obi offers a record of integrity, which the two old crooks lack. This clean record, and the advantage of Obi’s younger age turn the youths on. Obi is only 60 years of age, compared to Atiku’s 76 years, and the mentally and physically sick and dying Tinubu who is over 80 years old.

Peter Obi’s emergence and the revolution around him has got to be a divine intervention to save Nigeria. You’d have to ‘wake up pretty early in the morning’ to convince me otherwise! Surely, the Almighty God has finally decided to rescue Nigerians from political crooks who have been recycled to destroy Nigeria since 1999. I do trust that my fans know, and I want you to know if you didn’t, that I ain’t bullshitting ya, meeeeeeeeeen!!!


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