September 11, 2023
(Directed by Harry Agina)
Greetings!
Welcome to episode 20 of the AfroCultural Drama series on Afro-Scope.com, titled, “In God’s Name.” It’s about religions, and about misguided and mischievous Pentecostal Christianity in Africa. Most importantly, it is about ignorant and mischievous destruction of the African Culture by Pentecostal Africans, in the misguided and ignorant name of the Lord.
When we left Pentecostal Christian Pastor K’s office on the last episode, he had been busted on one unholy scam. He had attempted to rape another man’s wife in a pretence to exorcise her of “Marine-spirit-husband.” And Kono’s father’s drum of war against the same Pastor K for another scam was now beating on a crescendo.
And then, we saw a Divisional Police Officer (DPO) in big trouble with his boss, the Deputy Inspector General of Police (DIG). In turn, the DPO was passing the heat to his subordinate, the Police Sergeant Mohammed who had created the trouble with his team’s harassment and attempted extortion of Tanda and his friends at the scene of a banditry.
Now, this is where everything is coming to a head, next on episode 20 of “In God’s Name.”
Scene 1: EXTERNAL, A CAR PARK, IN THE EVENING
TIYA AND HER HUBBY WALK TO THEIR CAR, OPEN THE DOORS, ENTER. THE HUBBY STARTS THE ENGINE, MAKES TO ENGAGE THE GEAR, PAUSES, THEN KILLS THE ENGINE…
TIYA: What is it?
HUBBY: Do you uh…want to tell me exactly what happened in there? Like…what exactly he did to you? Like…did he…?
TIYA: Did he…what?
HUBBY: Oh, come on! How else do you want me to put this? I mean did he…touch you inappropriately at all?
TIYA: I don’t think so. I just know he didn’t…well, you know? He didn’t.
HUBBY: I don’t know. He didn’t what?
TIYA: Can we just go home? Must we talk about this here?
HUBBY: I think it is best we do it here. If I find a good reason, I could still go back in there and beat the daylight out of him.
TIYA: And if there is such a reason, you think I would not have done worse to him than just a slap?
HUBBY: Well, then let’s be sure. What did he not?
TIYA: He didn’t rape me. But I know he touched me because I don’t know how I got to the office from the restroom. I just don’t know how much.
HUBBY (Snarls): Son of a bitch! Son of nine fathers!
TIYA: It’s okay, Love. Let’s just go home.
HUBBY: How did you come to be tying just the towel on your chest anyway?
TIYA (Now getting angry): Honey, if you keep asking these questions, I’d feel like going back in there to stab him. Can we just go home? Please?
THE HUBBY KNOWS SHE IS RIGHT. THEY REMAIN SILENT FOR A WHILE. THE HUBBY STARTS THE ENGINE AGAIN, HESITATES, AND THEN KILLS THE ENGINE AGAIN…
TIYA: Now, what?
HUBBY: Kono and his Dad.
TIYA: What about them?
HUBBY: It is already dark. We need to wait for them and give them a ride home.
TIYA: Yeah. That’s true.
THEY RELAX AND WAIT…
Scene 2: INTERNAL, IN NADI’S OFFICE INSIDE “NADI’S UNIQUE SALON,” EVENING
NADI AND NADIA ARE BY THE OFFICE DOOR, TAKING TURNS IN PEEPING AND LISTENING THROUGH THE KEYHOLE FOR ANY SIGN OF LIFE IN THE SALON. AWELE IS AWAY FROM THEM, BY NADI’S DESK, DIALING HER PHONE. NADI AND NADIA TALK IN MAXIMUM WHISPERS. NADI IS GETTING OFF THE KEYHOLE NOW…
NADI: I don’t think anybody is still there. I think they’re all gone.
NADIA: Are you sure they…?
NADI (Impatiently cuts in): How can I be sure, Nadia?
AWELE GETS FRUSTRATED WITH HER PHONE, MUMBLING TO HERSELF…
AWELE: These damned phone services! Two phone lines, and none has network to get just one call through…what a shame!
Scene 3: EXTERNAL, OUTSIDE “NADI’S UNIQUE SALON”; EVENING
THE TEAM OF TANDA, MICHAEL, AND TIA, AND THE POLICE TEAM LED BY DPO MOHAMMED ARE STILL BY THE DOOR OF “NADI’S UNIQUE SALON.” THE CROWD HAS GOTTEN EVEN LARGER, AND SOME MEMBERS ARE STILL MAKING MOCKERY OF THE POLICE SERGEANT, WHO IS STILL BEING SCOLDED BY HIS ANGRY DIVISIONAL POLICE OFFICER (DPO)…
THE DPO: Sergeant, it is officers like you who give us a very bad name in the Force!
THE SERGEANT: But, sir, I only…
THE DPO (Cuts in) You only what, Sergeant?!
MALE VOICE IN THE CROW: You can’t deny it, Sergeant. We all heard you say that you could shoot him and nothing would happen.
THE ANGRY DPO SWIFTLY TURNS TO THE DIRECTION OF THE VOICE IN THE CROWD, AS MICHAEL’S PHONE STARTS TO RING IN HIS POCKET. HE QUICKLY FISHES IT OUT, LOOKS AT THE SCREEN, AND HIS ATTITUDE SUDDENLY CHANGES…
MICHAEL: Please be quite everyone!
TENSE BUT RELIEVED, HE QUICKLY ANSWERS THE PHONE…
MICHAEL: Yes, hello!
Scene 4: INTERNAL, IN PASTOR K’S OFFICE, IN THE EVENING.
KONO’S DAD STANDS LOOKING DIRECTLY INTO PASTOR K’S FACE, ARMS STILL FOLDED ON HIS CHEST. KONO IS UNCOMFORTABLE, NOT KNOWING HOW TO PREVENT THE IMINENT CONFRONTATION. PASTOR K IS DOING HIS BEST TO AVOID KONO’S DAD’S GLARE. HE NOW RAISES HIS HANDS IN SURRENDER, TRYING ON A WEAK SMILE…
PASTOR K (Weak smile): Okay, okay, okay. Sir, you win. We will discuss this exactly as you want. But can I ask just a favor?
DAD: Nope!
KONO: Oh, come on, Dad! Be reasonable. You raised me to be reasonable. Why not try and be an example here?
DAD: How have I not been an example here, Kono? Have I physically attacked him? Have I even insulted him?
KONO: But he is asking for just one favour! Even people about to be executed are given a chance to make a last request.
PASTOR K: Exactly! Please, Dad. It is not as if I am asking you to go and come back. It is not like I will run away. Please?
THERE IS A BIT OF SIENCE AS KONO’S DAD CONSIDERS THE REQUEST. THEN HE LETS OUT A SIGH, SHRUGS, AND NODES…
DAD: Very well. What is the favour?
PASTOR K: Thank you. All I ask is that we go out to the outer office where the seats are enough to take us all.
KONO: See, Dad? Is that not reasonable enough?
KONO’S DAD TAKES A COUPLE OF SECONDS TO CONSIDER THIS, THEN SIGHS AND SHRUGS…
DAD: Very well. Let’s go.
PASTOR K (Smiles): Oh, thank you, sir! I really appreciate this! Thank you.
DAD: Don’t thank me yet. Reserve that for when your answer has fully satisfied me and I get up to go without trouble.
KONO: Trouble, Dad? Didn’t you say you would not…?
DAD CUTS HIM SHORT BY JUST WALKING OUT TO THE OUTER OFFICE. KONO BENDS TOWARDS PASTOR K AND LOWERS HIS VOICE…
KONO: Look, you know I don’t want my Dad to make you any troubles. But he will not let things slide. I just think you need to pray and get him the answer he wants.
PASTOR K: Thank you Kono, for your support. I’ll just make a quick call to my uh…wife and then say a quick prayer. And then I will be right out with you. Please, tell your Dad that for me.
KONO: No problem.
KONO TURNS AROUND AND WALKS OUT. PASTOR K PICKS HIS PHONE, GOES ROUND TO SIT BEHIND HIS DESK, AND BEGINS TO DIAL…
Scene 5: INTERNAL, IN NADI’S OFFICE INSIDE “NADI’S UNIQUE SALON,” EVENING
NADI, NADIA, AND AWELE ARE NOW ALL BY NADI’S DESK. AWELE IS NOW ON THE PHONE…
AWELE: Hello…hello. Sweetheart, can you hear me? Hello…
Scene 6: EXTERNAL, IN FRONT OF “NADI’S UNIQUE SALON”, SAME TIME
MICHAEL IS NOW ON THE PHONE WITH HIS WIFE AWELE…
MICHAEL (Shouting into the phone): I can hear you, honey…can’t you hear me?! Awe, my dear, where are you…can you hear me?!…(TO HIMSELF) The damned network!
SPLIT SCREEN SHOWS HUSBAND AND WIFE AND THEIR ENVIRONMENTS…
AWELE: Yes, yes, I can hear you now, sweetheart. But I cannot talk loud now…
NADI (Whispering): Sshhh Awe, you’re already too loud…
MICHAEL: Where are you? Are the bandits there with you?
TANDA (To Michael): Is my wife with her? Go on, Mike, ask her…
Scene 7: INTERNAL, IN PASTOR K’S OUTER OFFICE, SAME EVENING
KONO’S DAD IS NOW SITTING. AS KONO WALKS OUT TO HIM AND MAKES TO SIT, HIS PHONE BEGINS TO RING. HE GETS IT AND CHECKS THE SCREEN: WIFEY CALLING… HE PICKS IT AND SITS…
KONO: Hey, Love!
SELA (Worried voice through phone): Why did you cut the video call just like that?
KONO: I am sorry. I just didn’t want you to see all that and begin to think there is trouble going on here.
SELA (Filtered): But there was trouble going on there. I saw it.
KONO: Okay. But I wasn’t involved. Look, just relax. Okay?
SPLIT SCREEN TO ACCOMMODATE BOTH SCENES…
SELA: How can I just relax? Your mom is worried, too. What should I tell her?
KONO: Tell her we are good. Nothing to worry about. We will soon be home.
SELA: And that is a promise?
KONO: That is a promise.
SELA: Can I talk to dad? I want to know what to tell mom from him.
KONO: Sure!
KONO HANDS THE MOBILE TO HIS DAD…
DAD: My daughter! How are you?
SELA: I am very well, dad. Can I tell mom everything is okay? Or could you call her and tell her so, please?
DAD: If I call her, she won’t let us cut the call. You tell her. Just like your husband said…everything is quite fine.
SELA: Okay, Dad.
THEY CUT THE CONNECTION…
Scene 8: EXTERNAL, INSIDE CAR IN CAR PARK, SAME EVENING.
TIYA AND HUBBY ARE SILENT FOR A WHILE…
TIYA: Honey, don’t you think it’d be best that we go back and join them?
HUBBY: You are sure you would be able to restrain yourself?
TIYA: I’ll just try my best.
HUBBY: Very well. Let’s go back there then.
THEY GET OUT OF THE CAR AND WALK BACK TO THE CHURCH BUILDING…
Scene 9: INTERNAL, IN PASTOR K’S OFFICE, SAME EVENING.
HE IS TALKING ALMOST IN WHISPERS, FACE TURNED TO THE WALL, FACE HIDDEN FROM THE DOOR, SWEATING, ENTREATING…
PASTOR K (Sotto voce): Baba, if you don’t help me, this man will definitely do me some harm. Please, tell me something I can do.
BABA (Filtered): Wire me everything you owe me right now, or nothing.
PASTOR K: But Baba, this is not the agreement we had. Please, help me. Give me some incantation that could make the man believe anything I tell him, or whatever. Please!
BABA (Filtered): Did you hear what I said at all?
PASTOR K: About everything I owe you?
BABA (Filtered): Oh, you heard. Wire it to me now and we can talk.
PASTOR K: Baba, I am begging you. My life is in danger here. If you don’t help me, who else can I turn to?
BABA (Filtered): How about your so-called power? Look, my money or forget it.
PASTOR K: Baba, please! If I send you everything right now, I will be left with nothing! The thanksgiving was meant to bring in a lot. But it has not happened yet.
BABA (Chuckles, filtered?: And it might not happen, right. Look, I am a busy man. Send the money now. Or don’t call me again!
PASTOR K: Okay, okay, okay! I will send it now. Please, don’t cut the call.
BABA (Filtered): No problem.
PASTOR K BEGINS THE PROCESS OF TRANSFERING MONEY…
Scene 10: INTERNAL, OUTER/INNER OFFICE, IN THE EVENING.
NOW KONO, HIS DAD, TIYA, AND HUBBY SIT WAITING IN SILENCE. KONO’S DAD CHECKS HIS WATCH, THEN GETS UP AND BEGINS TO PACE. AFTER A BIT, HE CHECKS HIS WATCH AGAIN…
DAD: What in the world is he discussing with his wife that is taking forever?
KONO: Dad, please just be…
DAD (Cuts in): Will you just quit?!
KONO’S DAD TIPTOES TO THE INNER OFFICE DOOR, TAKES A QUIET STEP INTO THE DOOR, PAUSES, AND THEN LOOKS BACK TO BECKON THE REST TO JOIN HIM. ALL RISE AND TIPTOE TO JOIN HIM. PASTOR K STILL HAS HIS BACK TURNED AS HE TALKS TO THE BABA. THEY ALL BEND CLOSER TO EAVESDROP…
PASTOR K: …just finished the transaction, Baba. Please, confirm.
BABA (Filtered): Good. Received. From now on, it is full payment before service.
PASTOR K (In despair): Oh, Baba, please don’t do me like that! This is deception. You know I don’t have kobo anymore now.
BABA (Filtered): What exactly do you want, Mr. Pastor?
PASTOR K: Just some incantation that I can…
BABA (Filtered, cuts in): Oh please, stop this whispering! I cannot strain my ears! Exactly what?
PASTOR K (Raises voice): Incantation, Baba. Just some incantation to make the man believe everything I tell him, Baba.
BEHIND HIM, FOUR PAIRS OF EYES POP OUT AND THEIR JAWS VIRTUALLY DROP TO THE FOOR IN SHOCK…
DAD: Jesus Holy Christ!
PASTOR K TURNS TO FACE THEM IN HIS DEEPEST EMBARRASSMENT…
Scene 11: EXTERNAL/INTERNAL, FRONT/OFFICE OF “NADI’S UNIQUE SALON,” EVENING
SPLIT SCREEN SHOWS MICHAEL AND TANDA NOW ON SPEAKER PHONE, AND THE CROWD OUTSIDE IN FRONT OF THE SALON; AS WELL AS AWELE ON THE PHONE WITH HER TWO FRIENDS FLANKING HER ON BOTH SIDES INSIDE NADI’S OFFICE. AWELE QUICKLY PUTS HER PHONE ON SPEAKER TO BENEFIT HER FRIENDS…
AWELE (Surprised and elated): You are where, baby?
MICHAEL: In front of the salon…now where are you, Awe?!
EXCITED WITH NEW HOPE, AWELE LOOKS FROM NADI, TO NADIA, BOTH OF WHOM ARE CURIOUSLY EXCITED, TOO…
NADI: Which salon?
AWELE: Yes, sweetie, which salon?
MICHAEL: Nadi’s salon, of course…now where are you?
AWELE (Now hilarious): Inside Nadi’s office, sweetie! (LOOKS AT NADI AND NADIA) We are free!!!
TANDA MOVES CLOSER TO MIKE’S PHONE TO SPEAK TO THE SPEAKER…
TANDA: Is Nadi there with you? Was that her voice I heard?
AWELE: Yes, Nadi and Nadia are here. We are coming out!
MICHAEL, TANDA, TIA, AND THE POLICE DPO RUSH INTO THE SALON…
END
By Michael Shaibu and Harry Agina
My editorial today is on the relationship between Pastor K and the mystery man who he calls Baba (father). Believe it or not, a good portion of all the big Pentecostal pastors in Africa, Nigeria in particular, are said to be like Pastor K in this regard. They all subscribe to the services of traditional spiritualists for their so-called miracles and spiritual feats. As you read above in Pastor K’s conversation with his “Baba,” too many Nigerian crooks who are called Pentecostal pastors have nothing to do with the Almighty God. Their touted powers of fake miracles come from the devil himself!
My last sentence takes me to the question of the efficacy of the traditional spiritualists, otherwise known as “native doctors,” in Africa. Do they possess the spiritual powers to influence or control nature? In other words, could Pastor K have been able to manipulate Kono’s father’s mind to believe whatever he would tell him with the spiritual power of his “Baba”? Well, this is a question for another day, here on Afro-Scope.com. We shall dabble into the matter of the efficacy of the good and bad smaller gods of Africa. Until then, and until we come your way with the next episode of “In God’s Name,” I am Harry Agina saying bye for now.
