April 13, 2022

No Bullshiting!!! (By Harry Agina)



Greetings, folks!

I am Harry Agina, and this is No Bullshitting, the radical Socio-Political Critic of Africa. Finally, I have come to the end of my series on the “Talk-Na-Talk” Syndrome among Nigeria’s political rulers. My sub-title number 2 says, “Northern Elders Want President Buhari To Resign.” That’s a news headline that broke at the time of this writing (April 13, 2022). And, as you can see, I call it “just more talk-na-talk.” You know, if I received just one dollar each time that I heard the “Northern Elders” demanding Buhari’s resignation, I would have become a fucking billionaire by now, meeeeeeeeeeeeeen!!!

I want to use this to illustrate my commentary on Nigeria’s “talk-na-talk” syndrome. The “Northern Elders Forum” is a socio-cultural group, It has been singing the same song about Buhari’s terrible rulership, and demanding his resignation…like, forever! Mr. President is utterly insensitive to whatever any Nigerian says. So he simply disdainfully ignores the elders. In his stead, his fucked-up Media Aide, Femi Adesina, barks insults at the elders, and everyone else who condemns Buhari’s terrible rulership. Mind you, some of those elders are old enough to be Adesina’s grandfather, but he doesn’t give a fuck about that, meeeeeeeeeen!!!

Just a few months back, the crook called the elders “Generals without troops.” And thereafter, he sent Buhari’s police to arrest and harass a young man who responded to him in defense of the elder’s honor. Adesina exercises his constitutional right to freedom of speech, and , like a senseless fool, he insults any and every Nigerian. But he has the impunity to violate the same freedom-of-speech right of other Nigerians who are not in Buhari’s ruling cabal, meeeeeeeeeeeeeen!!!

Anyway, let’s get back to my topic of the day. And my point is that the northern elders have become toothless bulldogs who bark without biting. So, they are among the “talk-na-talk” Nigerians that I speak of. I was so happy the first time that I heard those elders talk about Buhari’s resignation a little while back. I saw them as a powerful group who could make a difference. In fact, they did go further to announce that if Buhari refused to resign, he must be impeached by Nigeria’s federal loot-makers who are called lawmakers. And so, I actually thought that they could back their threat with some actions that would force Buhari out of office.

I must tell ya, though, I did wonder how the elders planned to effect the impeachment. How would they get those crooks, the loot-makers at the National Assembly, to impeach Buhari? I have always said that Buhari is probably blackmailing the leadership and some members of the parliament to do all his bidding. He does have their dozier on their past crimes. So, “You fuck with me, and you go to prison for your crimes,” he probably tells them. But, I did have a little hope when the “Northern Elders” castigated Buhari. I believed that they probably had ‘an ace in the hole’ somewhere, meeeeeeeeeeen!!!

So, maybe the motherfucking Femi Adesina had a point when he called the elders “Generals without troops.” But, this is the point at which I try to teach Adesina and his fucked-up colleagues in Buhari’s public relations team what their job entails. They are supposed to be image-makers for Buhari and his ruling APC party. And, this is a democracy where image-makers are supposed to be democratic, civil, and nice to the public. They have no fucking right to talk to Nigerians in the manner that the radical ‘Mr. No Bullshitting’ (not Harry Agina) talks, meeeeeeeeeen!!!

Just like “Northern Elders Forum,” “Nigeria Governors Forum” also talks, and talks, and talks. So do the “Southern Governors Forum” and the “Northern Governors Forum.” And, so do all the other gazillion forums in Nigeria. Not to speak of the worst of them all, the crooks in the National Assembly, who are supposed to do what “We The People” want, and impeach Buhari. From part 1 to part 2, and then part 3, I have pursued this argument from various perspectives. If you missed any of them, don’t worry; be happy! I’ve got them all for ya. Just follow this link to part 3, and it has a link to part 2, which has a link to part 1:


In this grand finale of the series, comes my argument for decentralization of policing for efficiency and effectiveness in Nigeria. Insecurity is getting worse by the day, but our rulers refuse to consider this most pragmatic action for solution. Today’s news of the massacre of over 70 citizens of Plateau State of northern Nigeria prompted the most recent of the resignation demands of the northern elders. The terrorists shot some of the victims at close range, and beheaded the others. What is absolutely unusual in Nigeria these days, is when we don’t hear of any terrorist attacks on any given day, meeeeeeen!!!

My recommendation for policing decentralization comes in two steps, thus:

(1) DECLARATION OF A STATE OF EMERGENCY ON SECURITY: Presidential declaration of a state of emergency in Nigeria is the first step. It should be expressly to decentralize Nigeria’s police system to curb the hellish terrorism and banditry in the country. The declaration would give the government the power to circumvent or speed up democratic red-tape that slows down operational procedures.

(2) DECENTRALIZE THE POLICE SYSTEM IN RECORD-TIME: With a state-of-emergency declaration, the presidency and the legislative branches can decentralize the police in record-time. Federal Police, State Police, down to Local Government Police, must become independent of each other. Indeed, institutions such as universities should have their own semi-independent police systems, too. If our loot-makers are serious, for a change, they can amend our constitution to effect this within a week or two.

They can engulf their duties with all manner of mysteries in order to look gigantic all they want, but I don’t give a fuck. The record-speed emergency constitution amendment is easily doable. If they are too dumb or too lazy to do it to save Nigerians from the current hell, then let’s look for other options. Ordinary Level 101 law and political science students can easily teach the motherfuckers how to do the doggone job fast. Maybe we should find such law student who are brilliant to do it for us. Heck, I don’t have any law background, but give me the fucking assignment, and I would do it, meeeeeeeeeen!!!

You probably think now that I am being ridiculously simplistic; don’t ya? Well, I am just fucking tired of the loot-makers making such a big deal out of lawmaking. Mind you, whenever they pursue some of their evil self-serving bills, they conclude them in a jiffy. It’s high time they did it for the right reason of saving Nigeria and Nigerians, meeeeeeen!!!

The rulers have refused to decentralize or restructure government for efficiency since 1999, and “We The People” of NIgeria have not pushed them hard enough to do it. The rulers do know the efficiency of decentralized system. They all travel around the world where it works. But, rather than implement it to fight the present insecurity, they find excuses to cover their real evil reasons for rejecting it. Yes indeed, what makes the rulers so criminal is that they reject decentralization for the fact that it would take control of the country out of their evil hands. They’d rather see the country and the people burn to ashes, than relinquish their current control over the country. This madness has gone on since 1999, meeeeeeeeeeeen!!!

Another annoying aspect of all this madness is that the state governors actually do have huge funds appropriated to them as the Chief Security Officers of their states. They call it “Security Vote.” The nation’s constitution recognizes that the governors are supposed to be in charge of security in our federal system of government. If you are not Nigerian, then let me inform you that the state governors actually receive the huge “Security Vote” funds every fucking year. They do whatever pleases them with the funds. Mostly, they embezzle the funds. And yet, we spend years talking about the need to actually effect the system for which they receive the funds, meeeeeeeen!!!

Now, as the country burns, the Nigerian rulers are almost well protected. They have deployed the limited security personnel and armament in the country to protect themselves and their families. And they watch the unprotected masses getting slaughtered and kidnapped for ransom every fucking day. And still, nobody is talking about express passage and immediate implementation of a law to take policing to the effective level of decentralization. The loot-makers that we call national lawmakers are more interested in pursuing evil self-serving laws. They don’t truly care about the terrorism that is consuming the country.

But, guess what! Much sooner than later, the rulers will become the main targets of the terrorists, and they will have no hiding place. The terrorists are progressively getting bolder and more daring lately. Very soon, the special security that the rulers have around them can no longer protect their motherfucking asses. The terrorists are now attacking our military and police barracks. They often overwhelm our soldiers and police officers, who scamper from their barracks for their dear lives. Can you believe that? So, how many police or soldier can a senator surround himself with in order to stay safe, huh, huh, huh???

I will give you a no-bullshitting conclusion, thus: Naturally, it is my prayer and wish that no Nigerian gets killed by terrorists. But, if it has to happen, then I would rather have terrorists attack the rulers who are destroying Nigeria, and leave ordinary innocent Nigerians alone! I trust, that you know, that I ain’t bullshitting ya, meeeeeeeeeen!!!


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