December 8, 2022



This is “No Bullshitting,” by Harry Agina

In several past commentaries, I lambasted Nigeria’s demo-crazy vis-à-vis the global democracy concept. And yesterday, I suddenly said to myself; ‘Self, why don’t ‘we’ do a series that provides alternatives to some of the anomalies that define Nigeria as a demo-crazy?’ The trinity of No Bullshitting Blog (NBB)—‘Me,’ ‘Myself,’ and I—agreed on it, and voila! This series was born, titled, “If I was A Political Publicist or image-maker In Nigeria.” I have picked one of the most notorious politicians in modern Nigeria—Bola Ahmed Tinubu—as my first subject. For my non-Nigerians readers who may not know, this is an old and ailing dude, who has too many criminal indictments for just one man, meeeeeen!!!

My Nigerian readers do already know Nigeria’s political environment background foundation, which is necessary for this series. But most of my readers are in the world outside Nigeria. So, it behooves me to bring them up to speed on the relevant environment. I implore Nigerians to oblige me a little if you consider this brief prelude to be redundant, thus:

After so long in military rule since Nigeria’s 1960 independence, democracy finally emerged in 1999. But, with all manner of criminality and lawlessness, some crooks called politicians highjacked and turned the democracy into a demo-crazy! Until recently, Nigerians in Nigeria allowed those few evil rulers to get away with their atrocious rulership for too long! The evil rulers virtually turned Nigerians into a conquered and subjugated people in slavery, meeeeeeen!!!

But suddenly, Nigerians have woken from their political slumber. They have decided to take back their land from the evil rulers. We have Nigeria’s 2022 electoral reform and the renewed revolutionary political interest of Nigerian youths to thank for the new revolution. Typically, however, some die-hard evil politicians believe that they can negate the revolution and continue to rig elections to keep perpetual control over Nigeria. My first subject in this treatise is Bola Ahmed Tinubu, the ruling APC party’s presidential candidate in Nigeria’s 2023 election. The son of a gun fits the bill for every ‘demo-crazical” anomaly that I will discuss in this series. No wonder, he is my first pick for the series.

Mind you, I am not only criticizing Nigeria’s demo-crazy this time, as I did in the past. This series is more about what I would contribute to change some of the dispositions of the culprits, “If I Was A Political Publicist Or Image-maker In Nigeria’s Demo-crazy.” My point of attack is the effects of the long military rule in the history of Nigeria. This protracted poor foundation is responsible for the demo-crazy that Nigeria practices today in the pretext of a democracy. The resultant ‘milito-criminal’ impunity of the civilian politicians in governance has lingered too long in Nigeria’s new-found democracy. And now, too many of the politicians are completely dumb in the art of democratic electioneering and other sundry elements of democratic politics. This is because they are used to murdering hundreds of Nigerians to rig elections. During those past years of murderous demo-crazy, they did not need the knowledge of the art of democratic electioneering.

Too bad for those ‘milito-cratic’ politicians, a revolutionary electoral reform has finally happened in 2022. But most of the politicians are still operating as though they are still in their election-rigging era. They simply ain’t got the art of democratic electioneering now because they are too entrenched in their murderous ‘demo-crazical’ rigging! Those days of rigging, they could afford to act like military overlords in their criminal rulership. Why? They didn’t need the votes of the people to get into public offices, that’s why! They only needed the art and spirit of election rigging where they murdered Nigerians in droves during every election in the country. I have done oodles and oodles of commentaries on this, and I have some links for you below.

With the new electoral reform, the better ones among the evil rulers will change soon enough and learn how to please and woo Nigerians for votes, or they must lose elections. But the subject of this premiere edition of this series, Bola Ahmed Tinubu, is certainly not among the better crooks. He is way too entrenched in his past murderous election-rigging ways. It’s very easy to write a huge volume about Bola Tinubu’s past atrocious politics and rulership since 1999. The dude has been quite a phenomenon in Nigeria’s politics, and most of his story is marred by oodles of indictments and controversies over criminality.

But this treatise is not so much about alleged evil deeds of Tinubu and his kind. I have done quite a bit of that in the past, as you will see when you follow some of my links below. “No Bullshitting” Blog (NBB) is a social-political critic, and I believe that a critic of any system or idea should be able to suggest some solutions to the failure. So, this is more about how I would impart some transformational democratic orientation to Bola Tinubu and his kind, “If I was a political publicist in Nigeria’s demo-crazy.” So, here we go with my first jab at it. My topic is Tinubu’s failure to salvage President Muhammadu Buhari’s woeful failure for his own positive personal gain. This is about my lesson to Tinubu on how to salvage Buhari’s destructive rulership to his own advantage, “If I was his political publicist or image-maker.” And here we go:

Bola Tinubu could have made himself a darling of voters in Nigeria’s 2023 presidential election, if only he had the art of democratic electioneering. He couldn’t tap into the opportunity that presented itself because he ain’t got the art! Here is the series of events that presented the opportunity to Tinubu: Nigerians know that Tinubu virtually singlehandedly installed President Buhari in office in 2015. In 2013, Tinubu championed, and majorly funded the establishment of the “All Progressives Congress (APC)” political party, which is currently ruling Nigeria. It was a merger of four existing small parties. Naturally, that made him the “National Leader” of the party. And he installed Mohammadu Buhari as the presidential candidate. Goodluck Ebele Jonathan was then the incumbent Nigerian president under his ruling political party, the People’s Democratic Party (PDP). President Jonathan was a total fuck-up in leadership. Many Nigerians, including I, were justifiably sick and tired of him and his ruling PDP. Therefore, APC and Buhari easily defeated Jonathan and PDP in Nigeria’s 2015 presidential election.

Now, enough of the background; it’s time to get to the juicy part. Tinubu could have capitalized on the foregoing background to his advantage if I was his political publicist. He could have salvaged President Buhari’s woeful rulership failure to his own advantage, to win the 2023 presidential election. He missed the opportunity because he is a democratically unschooled murderous election-rigger.

Anyway, by the middle of his first tenure, Mohammadu Buhari had shown himself as a man who had no clue what to do for Nigeria as a president. He already registered as a woeful failure in governance. Also, he apparently rendered Tinubu’s APC “National Leader” title just that—a mere title! The president ceased to take Tinubu’s position seriously shortly after he won the election. This means that the president, apparently, and rumored, did/does not take advise from his party’s national leader, Bola Tinubu. Buhari’s behavior would be the basis of my plot for Tinubu’s democratic masterpiece if I was his image-maker. All that he needed to do was to openly renounce Buhari’s presidency and wash his hands of his total failure. He would address few press conferences and tell the world that Buhari was/is destroying Nigeria, and he (Tinubu) didn’t want to be part of it. His position would be that Buhari must listen to his advice as the party’s national leader, to lead the government aright. Otherwise, since he (Tinubu) could not sack Buhari from the party, he would quit the party for Buhari.

But really, it doesn’t take a genius to figure this plot out, just a sound democratic orientation, spiced with a little sensibility! Of course, millions of Nigerians would fall in love with Tinubu for such bold patriotic position. For one important thing, he would be loved for deviating from Nigeria’s accursed traditional ass-licking by political subordinates. And he would be loved for quitting a “juicy” position on the ground of integrity. Top Nigerian rulers hardly quit their jobs under any controversial circumstance. Even those who commit crimes or major blunders in office refuse to quit. And most times, the crooks that they work under refuse to sack them. I have only heard of just a couple or so ministers who quit in the past to protest their disagreement with their principals. And those few are respected by the people as heroes.

Tinubu would have been more celebrated than those heroes, “If only I was his political image-maker” and guided him aright. One of the reasons why Nigerians hate Tinubu now is that he refused to speak out against Buhari’s destructive rulership. He was afraid that Buhari would deny him the “blessing” of being APC’s 2023 presidential candidate. That, on its own, is a mark of immaturity in the game of democracy. Buhari’s “blessing” my foot, I would say! Who needs the damn APC ticket of failure?! Importantly, I wouldn’t have allowed Tinubu to make his foolish blunder of associating himself with a huge failure like Buhari in his campaign. I see it with my own eyes, yet I hardly believe that the dude is stupid enough to continuously declare that he “will continue Buhari’s legacy.” Given Buhari’s huge failure, only an idiot would do that! If I was Tinubu’s image-maker, I would have urged him to disassociate himself from Buhari and APC party right after Buhari’s first tenure in 2019.

With the foregoing plot, Nigerians would vote for Tinubu even if he ran under a ‘Rats Party.’ And this is my cue to compare my scenario about Tinubu’s ingenuity failure with the revolutionary phenomenon that is presently on Nigeria’s political scene. It is called “Obidient Movement,” and it emerged just last May. The driver of the movement is Labor Party’s presidential candidate, a former state governor, Peter Obi. The situation that led to the emergence of the “Obidient Movement” was similar, in a way, to my above scenario about Buhari-Tinubu relationship. Cutting the long story short, Peter Obi was ingenious to cash-in on an anomaly in Nigeria’s demo-crazy, which Nigerians abhor. I speak of a traditional immoral act of selling and buying election candidature tickets. It happens in election-primaries, and it is the beginning of election-rigging in Nigeria. I have a link for you below, to my blog about this anomaly, under “Direct versus Indirect primaries in Nigeria.”

Before May 2022, Obi was virtually a political nonentity, relatively speaking. Suddenly during PDP’s presidential primary, he broke away from PDP’s presidential aspirant, Atiku Abubakar, whose running mate he was supposed to be. Obi’s ingenious condemnation of vote-buying-and-selling turned him into a darling of Nigerian youths. The youths instantly fell in love with him for that show of integrity. On closer look, his record of people-oriented, frugal, good leadership style when he was governor complimented his May 2022 show of integrity in electioneering. And, boom, the hitherto nationally political ‘nobody’ suddenly became a national hero!

Mind you, PDP and APC parties were initially making a joke of Peter Obi with the stupidity that “Obi has no political structure” to win the presidency. But Nigerian youths suddenly became his structure. Now, from all indications of the youths’ revolution, this political nobody is now the biblical ‘David’ who is about to stone two political Goliaths (Atiku & Tinubu) to death with an ordinary slingshot. The youths’ “Obidient Movement” has turned into a positive wildfire, across all ethnic, religious, and political divides. Nigerian youths are now determined to sack long-recycled self-serving crooks from Nigeria’s governance, and some qualities of Obi meet their criteria for the change. Furthermore, at age 61, Obi is a perfect choice for the youths, against his much older fellow frontrunners, Atiku Abubakar (76), and Bola Tinubu (over 80). Oh, I must mention that Tinubu the chronic liar claims to be 70. But please Google the age of his daughter, Folashade Tinubu, and you will find that she is 62 years. Yet, her father claims to be 70, meaning that he had Folashade at the age of 8 years. His obviously ailing mental and physical health portray him to be probably 90, but he continues to lie that he is 70, meeeeeeeen!!!

Anyway, and finally, “If I was Tinubu’s image-maker,” he would have beaten Obi in the democratic ingenuity game with my guidance. His own revolutionary support would have begun far back in 2019 or thereabouts, as I have narrated. I would have convinced Nigerians that he truly wants to change Nigeria for the better. No wonder, he was willing and bold to challenge Buhari who has been destroying the country. Instead, the motherfucker was busy licking Buhari’s ass and watching him destroy Nigeria, just for Buhari’s “blessing” to clinch the APC 2023 presidential candidacy ticket. I trust that you know that I ain’t bullshitting ya, meeeeeeeeeeeeen!!!


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