November 27, 2022
Afro-Scope—The Magazine
(Directed By Harry Agina)
NOW WHAT’S NEXT, WITH LADY ZALIKA?
Greetings!
This is Afro-Scope, by Harry Agina.
If a man can marry several wives in the name of polygamy, then a woman should be able to marry several husbands, too, we always say! It is called polyandry, the reverse of polygamy. So, our dramatist, Michael Shaibu, has this series on polyandry in Africa. He titles it, “Reversed Harem.” And this is episode 3.
In the last episode, I stated the obvious, that cultural differences affect women liberation movement in different ways across the world. My own little personal 20th century experiences with girls, first in Nigeria, and then in the USA, offered me a perfect 20th century comparison. And now, in the 21st century, African women are kind-of catching up on the 20th century liberation level of their American counterparts. Of course, the Americans are still leading, generally, because they have not been stagnant at their 20th century liberation level. They must keep advancing, until they achieve reasonable equality with men.
Conversely, however, the story is different between American women in the American professed monogamous environment, and African women in African polyandrous communities. I underline the word ‘professed’ because clandestine polyandrous relationships do exist in every society of the world. Women who do practice polyandrous relationships do so in secrecy. Anyway, the point here is that Americans have not caught up in liberation with their counterparts in parts of Africa where polyandry is practiced.
Lady Zalika in this drama series is a representation of a professed and affirmed polyandrous community in Kenya, East Africa—no secrecy! Mind you, my personal advocacy is not necessarily for polyandry such as Zalika’s. And I don’t fancy polygamy either. I am talking about liberation in other social attitudes. For instance, it would be nice when more African women commonly ask men out on a date, as it happens in the western world. If a lady fancies a guy; ask him out on a date, or something! Don’t suffer in silence waiting for him to make the move.
What I did not discuss in the last episode is the cultural environmental factors that affect the level of liberation for women in any given society. Obviously, women in monogamous Africa are different from women in the parts of Africa where polyandry is practiced. My point is that the traditional norms of their societies have a lot to do with this. For instance, a young woman who is bold enough to approach and ask a guy out on a date is commonly blacklisted as a wayward woman. Some fools would even call her a prostitute.
Enough of my background info for now. Let’s get you to Mikey’s “Reversed Harem,” episode 3:
AFROCULTURAL DRAMA ON POLYANDRY CONTINUES WITH “REVERSED HAREM,” 3
- EXT. STREET (IN CAR). DAY
JOHN AND MWANGI ARE DRIVING, TAKING SWIGS FROM BEER BOTTLES. MWANGI IS AT THE STEERING. THEY ARE CHIT-CHATTING…
MWANGI: …heard that they call it polyamorous in the US.
JOHN: Yeah, I heard that too. By the way, don’t you think we need some definitions in this?
MWANGI: Definitions? Such as what?
JOHN: Well, maybe we should quickly talk about it before we meet Zalika. My Mom tongue-lashed the daylight out me yesterday!
MWANGI: Over what?
JOHN: Over us, of course! Us and Zalika.
MWANGI: Oh, okay, man. I am listening. Apparently your Mom has got wind of this arrangement, and she has issues with it.
JOHN: As do most of my relatives. And they are voicing genuine concerns.
MWANGI: Man, are you trying to talk us out of this arrangement? You know how Zalika would be, man. I don’t want a suicide on my hands.
JOHN: That is especially why we need definitions. For example, this might sound funny, but my family is talking about dowry, if this must go on. Know what I am saying?
MWANGI BEGINS TO LAUGH. JOHN JOINS, AND THEY BOTH HAVE A HEARTY LAUGHTER…
MWANGI: Well, as weird as it sounds, it makes sense. In polygamy, men pay bride price for all the wives. So dowry should reasonably apply here.
JOHN: Now you get the drift.
MWANGI: I just want to know if she intends to marry Tee. I am kind of suspecting she has a softer spot for him than for us.
JOHN (Smiles): Uh…you’d need to speak for yourself on that. I am quite comfy with the attention she gives me when it is my turn with her. Besides, we don’t even know about Tee for sure yet.
MWANGI: Mhm. Okay. You have a point. Anyway, so what other stuff do you want definitions in?
JOHN: Well, like bills.
MWANGI: What about bills?
JOHN ONLY LOOKS AT MWANGI AND SHRUGS. THE CAR DRIVES INTO THE PARKING LOT OF A LOUNGE, PARKS WELL, THEY ALIGHT, AND WALK IN.
- INT. LOUNGE. DAY.
ZALIKA IS SITTING AT A TABLE FOR FOUR HAVING A DRINK. MWANGI AND JOHN WALK IN, LOOK THIS WAY AND THAT, SIGHT ZALIKA, AND WALK OVER TO HER. SHE RISES, KISSES THEM WELCOME, AND ALL SIT. THE BARTENDER COMES OVER, TAKES THEIR ORDERS, AND LEAVES…
ZALIKA: Have you called Tee yet?
MWANGI (Sitting): Not yet. Say…are you marrying him? We…uh…no, I want to know.
ZALIKA (Smiles): And you, John? You don’t want to know?
JOHN (Settling down): Won’t be bad if I know too, Zalika. Also, what are our plans to formalise this? Or should we just call it polyamorous…like they do in the US? That way, we can just remain like this.
ZALIKA (Smiles again): These don’t sound impulsive. You both have been thinking and discussing, haven’t you? In any case, I too have-
THE BARTENDER DELIVERS DRINKS FOR MWANGI AND JOHN, CUTTING ZALIKA SHORT, THEN GOES AWAY…
ZALIKA (Sotto voce): Well, there you have a good reason to take this discussion home or to another, more appropriate location. Don’t forget, not many quite in this part accept our marital orientation yet.
MWANGI: Very well. So uh…do we still call Tee here? Or do we tell him to meet us at home?
ZALIKA: Call him to meet us here, of course!
MWANGI NODS, GETS HIM PHONE, AND BEGINS TO DIAL OTIENO’S NUMBER…
- INT. AN OFFICE. DAY.
OTIENO IS BUSY ON HIS LAPTOP. HIS PHONE RINGS AND HE PICKS IT AND LOOKS AT THE SCREEN…
OTIENO (On the phone): Hello. Otieno here.
MWANGI (Filtered): Hey, Tee. It’s Mwangi.
THEY GREET AND CHIT-CHAT…
MWANGI: So uh…are you already on your way? We are all here already.
OTIENO: Wow! I didn’t check my time at all. Uh…can I call you back?
MWANGI (Filtered): Sure, man. But listen, if you cannot make it, it’s okay, man.
OTIENO: I should be able to make it. But just let me call you back. Ok?
MWANGI (Filtered): Very well, then. See you in a bit.
THEY CUT THE CALL. OTIENO RISES AND RUSHES INTO HIS REST ROOM.
SOON RUSHING TAP FILTERS OUT…
- INT. LOUNGE. DAY.
BOTH JOHN AND ZALIKA LOOK AT MWANGI AND WAIT FOR HIM TO TALK. MWANGI PUTS HIS PHONE AWAY…
MWANGI: He will call back in a bit. But he said he will make it.
JOHN: So why does he want to call back before coming if he knows he is coming?
MWANGI: Ask him that when he comes, man. I didn’t ask him.
THEY ALL DRINK IN SILENCE FOR A BIT…
MWANGI (Sotto voce): So uh…before Tee comes, Zalika, are you marrying him? I want to know so I can know how to share tasks in the house.
JOHN: And uh…the dowry issue, Mwangi. Are you not going to talk about that?
ZALIKA (Puzzled): Dowry? What dowry is that?
JOHN: The one to be paid to our parents.
ZALIKA: By whom?
JOHN (Almost laughing): The person marrying us, of course!
MWANGI: Namely, you!
ZALIKA GOES QUET, AS IT DAWNS ON ZALIKA THAT THE GUYS ARE RIGHT…
END
Hahahahahaaa!!! Now we’re talking! Zalika the liberated lady obviously had never thought about the full weight of the maxim, “What a man can do, a woman can do, even better.” She has been enjoying what she sees as the benefits of polyandry, just as men do in polygamy. But the matter of dowry had never crossed her mind. Dowry is an ancient tradition in African marriages. In this ancient tradition, the spouse who is doing the marrying pays the dowry. Polygamous men pay it in patriarchal societies, and polyandrous women have to pay it in matriarchal societies, too. “What is good for the goose, is good for the gander.” And “what a man can do, a woman can do, too.” Well, Lady Zalika had never given this a thought, but she is apparently liberated and smart enough to realize that the guys are correct.
We have been talking about polygamy and polyandry. Now, Zalika’s guys have thrown up another poly-word, known as polyamory. This is another situation where a person (man or woman) has intimate relationships with multiple persons, with informed consent of all partners involved. The parties are either sharing a home, or they are dating, I will expatiate with a simple example of one of the possibilities, thus: A man, John, and a woman, Janet, are married as husband and wife. But each spouse is at liberty to date other persons. In some situations, John and Janet rely on each other more when it comes to important decisions regarding their life together. They have children and share financial decisions and other responsibilities that they don’t do with the other spouses.
So, here are my parting questions for this episode. (1) Now that the matter of dowry has surfaced, what is Lady Zalika going to do about it? (2) Is she going to settle for polyamorous relationships? Mikey will give us the answers, and more, on the next episode. Until then, it’s bye, from Harry Agina.
LINK TO EPISODE 4: