June 24, 2023
(Directed by Harry Agina)
Greetings!
This is episode 14 of “In God’s Name” AfroCultural InfoTainment Drama Series on Afro-Scope.com. It’s about religions; about misguided and mischievous Pentecostal Christianity; and ignorant destruction of the African Culture by Africans in Africa. It’s about all the evil, ridiculous, mischievous, unbelievable things that new-wave commercial Pentecostal Christian pastors do in Africa in the name of the Lord. And even more about what their ignorant followers who they brainwash into zombies do under their command, all in the name of the Lord! I am Harry Agina, the Director of Afro-Scope. Thanks for tuning in.
Nigeria, in West Africa, is the headquarters of this mischievous and ignorant new-wave version of Pentecostal Christianity. Kono’s “gullibility” to the raging Pentecostal Christianity scams and misguided beliefs, has been the primary plot of this series. Kono’s Pentecostal pastor, “Pastor K,” has caught himself another prey in Tiya and her husband who she drags into it almost screaming. Tiya has “Marine-spirit-husband” troubling her, says Pastor K. Not to forget that Awele, Nadi, and Nadia were stock in Nadi’s office in the last scene of the last episode, under siege of bandits; or was it terrorists. Without further ado, let’s get you to the show, “In God’s Name,” Episode 14:
- INTERNAL, IN NADI’S SALON; IN THE DAY
THE SALON IS FULL OF CUSTOMERS, MOSTLY WOMEN. THEY ARE NOW GATHERED IN A BUNCHED PACK ON THE FLOOR, LYING ON THEIR BELLIES. THE TERRORISTS ARE FOUR, POSITIONED TO COVER THE VICTIMS; THREE YOUNG MEN, TWO WITH AK47 RIFLES, AND ONE WOMAN WITH A PISTOL. SHE IS AN OBVIOUS TOMBOY IN DRESSING AND ATTITUDE. SHE SEEMS EDUCATED, AND SEEMS TO BE IN CHARGE, BARKING OUT ORDERS…
THE TOMBOY: Now, that last shot was just a warning. The next one will be a killer shot, in the head of whoever makes it happen.
WITH HER PISTOL SHE POINTS AT THREE LADIES WHO LOOK VERY OPULENT…
THE TOMBOY: You, you, and you; get up and come here and…
ONE GUNMAN (Apparently intoxicated): Did you hear what Stacy said? Get up right now and…
THE TOMBOY (Scowls at the gunman): You’re such a fool! Why don’t you announce my name on TV to the whole world…fool!
Cut…
-
- INTERNAL, INSIDE NADI’S INNER OFFICE IN THE SALON; SAME TIME
AWELE, NADI, AND NADIA ARE STILL KNEELING AND SQUIZED UNDER NADI’S DESK, ALL SHIVERING IN FEAR. AWELE MAKES TO GEP UP, BUT NADIA PULLS HER BACK DOWN, FRANTICALLY WHISPERING…
NADIA (In near hysteria): Where do you think you’re going, Awe?
AWELE: I’m about to pee in my pants, and…
NADI (Cuts in): Better than being dead or…
FRANTICALLY, NADIA PUTS HER FOREFINGER OVER HER LIPS…
NADIA: Sshhhhhh. They’ll hear you two, please.
Cut…
- INTERNAL, IN SELA’S PARENTS’ DINING ROOM; IN THE DAY.
AFTER EATING, FATHER NOW WASHES HIS HANDS…MOTHER HANDS HIM A HAND TOWEL, CLEARS THE TABLE, AND TAKES THE PLATES AWAY WITH THE SEMBLANCE OF A FROWN…FATHER WIPES HIS HANDS, DROPS THE TOWEL, PICKS TOOTHPICK, AND BEGINS TO PICK HIS TEETH, SMILING A BIT…MOTHER RETURNS, NOW A FULL BLOWN FROWN ON HER FACE, SITS, PUTS HER HERB TRAY ON THE TABLE, AND BEGINS TO PICK AT HER HERBS WITHOUT MUCH INTEREST…FATHER WATCHES THE FROWN ON HIS WIFE’S FACE AND LAUGHS…
FATHER (Laughs): Ha, women! Alright!! Alright!! Alright!!! The food was delicious!
NOW MOTHER SMILES AND GIVES HER HUSBAND A HAPPY SIDE-EYE LOOK…
MOTHER: Thank you.
FATHER: Alhamdulillah! But you should already learn to take some things as given. Whether I say it or not, you should know I always enjoy your cooking.
MOTHER: Right? Do you know how many times you have changed your dress before going out just because I didn’t say the dress fitted you?
THEY BOTH LAUGH HEARTILY…
MOTHER: Anyway, so what did Sela say about that “befitting thanksgiving” when you called her?
FATHER: They are still discussing it. She said her father in-law has also gone to pay their pastor a visit.
MOTHER: Really? Over the same issue?
FATHER: Uh…not really. She said the father in-law felt the pastor insulted their ancestors. And so, he has demanded the pastor to pinpoint where in the line of his ancestors the so-called ancestral curse came from.
MOTHER: Wahala!
FATHER: You can say that again. Not because I am Muslim, but I think that pastor bit off more than he could chew. If any Muslim Alfa were to say so about my own ancestors, I would take it the same way!
MOTHER (Chuckles): Good a thing Alfas don’t claim to get such messages from God.
FATHER: Exactly!
THEY ARE SILENT FOR A BIT, AS MOTHER GETS BUSIER WITH HER HERBS…
FATHER (Rising): Anyway, let me allow you to concentrate on your herbs.
MOTHER: Thank you.
FATHER WALKS AWAY…
Cut…
- INTERNAL, IN KONO’S OFFICE; IN THE DAY.
THE DOOR IS OPEN. KONO IS BUSY ON HIS LAPTOP…SELA POPS IN HER HEAD, SEES HER HUSBAND’S HEAD IS LOWERED, ABSORBED IN HIS WORK ON THE LAPTOP. SHE TIPTOES TO RIGHT BEFORE THE TABLE WITH A SMILE ON…
SELA: Hello, Mr. Busy man!
KONO LOOKS UP SHARPLY, SHOCKED. THEN HE BENDS WITH HIS NECK ASKEW TO LOOK AT SELA’S LEGS. SELA BURSTS INTO LAUGHTER…
SELA (Laughing): I am not a ghost!
KONO (Still shocked): Then what in the world are you doing here?!
SELA (Smiling happily): I am here to do just this, to shock you!
KONO: How?! I don’t understand!
SELA: Come on! Are you happy to see me or what? Do you want me to get the hell out?
KONO: Oh, please! You know I am happy to see you. But…
SELA (Cuts in): Then rush to me and hug me or kiss me or something. No buts!
KONO RISES FROM BEHIND HIS DESK AND DOES AS DEMANDED…
SELA: Better!
KONO: So…what are you doing here?
SELA: Well, someone called and asked if I could write a web content. Of course, you know I do. So he asked me to come to his office for briefing. It turned out his office is close by here. And after the briefing, I thought I should pop in and shock you a bit.
KONO: Hm. Nice one. Well, you came in just in time. If you had come in just one minute later, you’d have met an empty office. Ed and I will soon go on lunch break. He will soon be here.
SELA: Actually…
SHE TAKES DOWN HER BACKPACK, OPENS IT, BRINGS OUT TWO TAKEAWAY PACKS, AND HANDS THEM TO KONO…
SELA: When I saw that the address where I was going for the briefing was close by here, I took those for Ed and you.
KONO (Smiles): Hm. Good wife.
KNOCKS AT THE OPEN DOOR ALERTS THEM BOTH AND THEY LOOK THERE.
ED WALKS IN, BROWS ARCHED IN SURPRISE ON SEEING SELA…
ED: Look who’s here! Hi, Sela.
SELA (Smiles): Hello, you too, Ed.
THEY HUG PLATONICALLY…
KONO: Lunch outing cancelled, Ed. Look what Sela brought us!
ED (Happily): Holy smoke! If I believed in God, I’d have said He is still doing miracles. I was just going to spend my last kobo!
SELA: Well, whether you believe in God or not, He is still there doing good things.
KONO: Yep! Told him that. He does not need your believing in Him to validate His existence, man.
ED ONLY SHRUGS, GRABS ONE OF THE PACKS, PULLS A CHAIR, AND BEGINS TO EAT…
ED (Mouth full): By the way Sela, Kono told me all about the pastor, the ancestral curse, the befitting thanksgiving, and those craps! And I think, with what he has told me so far, you still have your head screwed on well.
KONO RAISES BOTH HANDS TO GIVE UP, GRABS THE SECOND PACK OF FOOD, GOES BEHIND HIS DESK, SITS, AND BEGINS TO EAT TOO…
SELA: Have you called the pastor yet, Love?
KONO (Chewing): Nope!
SELA: You need to. Time is passing and he needs to know your decision, whatever it is.
ED: If I were you, Kono my guy, I’d just keep postponing till the idiot gets tired and stops asking me.
SELA STARTS LAUGHING. BOTH ED AND KONO FINISH CHEWING, SWALLOW, AND JOIN…
Cut…
- EXTERNAL, IN TIYA’S BOUTIQUE; AT DUSK.
TIYA’S HUBBY IS WAITING BY THE CAR. SHE LOCKS UP AND COMES TO HIM AT THE CAR…
TIYA: So, what now?
HUBBY: Need you ask again? We already agreed. I’m going out on an appointment and you’re going to the pastor.
TIYA: Honey, I know that. What I meant is… No, no, no; not what I meant. Actually, I just want to ask for a favor.
HUBBY: Namely…?
TIYA: Please, don’t sound like you are angry. I am doing this for both of us.
HUBBY (Long sigh): Alright. Very well. Now…what is the favor you want to ask?
TIYA: Please, Love. Drop me there. And then come back for me when you’re through with your appointment. Please.
HUBBY: But he said he does not know how long it’d take. What if I come back for you and he has not finished?
TIYA: Then you would wait or go and come back again later. You’re doing it for me, not for him. Please!
HUBBY (Shrugs): Very well. Let’s go.
THEY ENTER THE CAR AND DRIVE AWAY…
Cut…
- INTERNAL, IN SOCIOLOGIST MICHAEL’S LIVING ROOM, EVENING
MICHAEL IS SEATED IN HIS LIVING ROOM, FLIPING HIS TV CHANNELS WITH HIS REMOTE-CONTROL GADGET. HE STOPS AT A CHANNEL WITH “BREAKING NEWS” ON THE SCREEN AND SOME RAZZMATAZZ MUISC; THEN…
REPORTER ON TV SET: Good evening, viewers. News reaching our studios just this moment says that there has been a kidnap incident at a hairdressing salon in the city. This happened just a few minutes ago, at “Nadi’s Unique Salon,” as it is called, which is located on…
MICHAEL JUMPS FROM HIS SEAT, PICKS HIS PHONE TO DIAL, BUT THE PHONE STARTS RINGING. THE ID SAYS ‘TANDA CALLING.’ HE ANSWERS. THE SCREEN IS SPLIT TO SHOW TANDA AND MICHAEL…
MICHAEL: Tanda, I was just about to call you. I saw the breaking news. Was it Nadi’s salon?
TANDA (A little shaken): Yes, Mike! I’m done for.
MICHAEL: The last time I spoke with Awele my wife, she was with Nadi in the salon. This means that…
HIS VOICE TRAILS OFF AS HIS FACE TURNS ASHEN
Cut…
- INTERNAL, IN PASTOR K’S OFFICE; AT DUSK
HE IS FINISHING A CALL TO HIS WIFE…
PASTOR: …so I cannot say for sure exactly when I will be getting home for now. Hopefully it’d be sooner than I expect. But one cannot say for certain.
WIFE (Filtered): It’s okay.
PASTOR: You’re not sad, are you?
WIFE (Filtered): Sad? No, I am not. I was aware these would be my life before I married you.
PASTOR: Thanks, honey.
THEY KISS AND CUT THE CALL. THE PASTOR QUICKLY DIALS BABA’S NUMBER…
ABA (Filtered): Yes…?
PASTOR: I greet you, Baba. I hope I have not called at a wrong time?
BABA (Filtered): Speak. Don’t waste time.
PASTOR: Thank you, Baba. I uh… I uh… I need to do a miracle this evening. So, I thought I should…
BABA (Impatient, filtered): Don’t waste time! Don’t waste time!! What?
PASTOR: Sorry, Baba. Uh… uh… apart from licking the thing and then saying those words of power, anything else?
BABA (Filtered): Has anything I gave you ever failed?
PASTOR: No, Baba.
BABA (Filtered): Have I ever added anything to what I tell you from here?
PASTOR: No, Baba.
BABA (Filtered): Then never waste my time again.
WITH THAT, BABA CUTS THE CALL. PASTOR K PUTS THE PHONE DOWN AND THEN BEGINS TO PULL HIS DRAWER…
END
Written by Michael Shaibu and Harry Agina
There you have it. Pastor K and all his schemes and lies to his victims, in the name of God. Meanwhile, we are yet to understand his relationship with the traditionalist, or “native doctor,” who he calls “Baba.” We are yet to understand what it is that the Baba gives him for the mysterious rituals that he performs at odd hours. And we are yet to know what it is that the rituals are all about, and what they have to do, if anything, in the spiritual fallacies that he sells to his prey.
And now, we have the ugly situation of kidnapping, yet another reality in a degenerated society called Nigeria. An evil, incompetent, retired Army General called Mohammadu Buhari made it that way. The story continues in the next episode of, “In God’s Name.” If you haven’t done so yet, please subscribe to all our social media handles to keep abreast of all our varieties of AfroCultural InfoTainment productions. Ì am Harry Agina. Bye for now.
Here is the link to episode 15:
AFROCULTURAL DRAMAS ON RELIGIONS AND CULTURE, “IN GOD’S NAME,” EPISODE 15