July 4, 2023
Greetings!
This is episode 15 of “In God’s Name” AfroCultural InfoTainment Drama Series on Afro-Scope.com. It’s about various religions in Africa; about misguided and mischievous Pentecostal Christianity; importantly and regrettably, about ignorant destruction of the African Culture by Africans in Africa. It’s about all the evil, ridiculous, mischievous, unbelievable things that new-wave commercial Pentecostal Christian pastors do in Africa in the name of the Lord. And even more about what their ignorant followers who they brainwash into zombies do under their command, all in the name of the Lord! This mischievous and ignorant new-wave version of Pentecostal Christianity is all over many parts of Africa, but Nigeria, in West Africa, is the headquarters.
I am Harry Agina, the Director of the Afro-Scope Project. Welcome to the show. In the last edition, we saw Pentecostal Pastor K scheming as usual, in the name of the Lord. I personally felt, and still feel that, Pastor K is interested in his new prey, Tiya, for more than money-scam in the name of exorcising “Marine-spirit-husband” out of her. I wonder what else he is scheming for; we shall soon see. Also in the last episode, we saw armed men and woman in Nadi’s salon terrorizing customers and workers, while Nadi the owner of the salon was hiding in her private office within the salon, with her friends Nadia and Awele. Was there hideout eventually discover by the bandits? Indeed, what happened in the salon after the incidence made TV Newsbreak? These, and more, continue to unfold on Afro-Scope.com; all In God’s Name.
In the last scene of the last episode, Pastor K was awaiting the arrival of Tiya as he spoke with his “Witchdoctor” consultant who he calls “Baba (father).” Baba had just impatiently and rudely terminated the phone call on him in the middle of the consultancy. Now, here is episode 15, resuming where we left off with Pastor K in episode 14:
- INTERNAL, IN PASTOR K’S OFFICE; AT DUSK
EMOTIONALLY PAINED A BIT BY THE BABA’S RUDENESS IN CUTTING THE CALL ON HIM, PASTOR K PULLS HIS DRAWER OPEN AND PICKS OUT A BLACK POUCH. HE PUTS THE POUCH ON HIS DESK, GOES TO SHUT THE DOOR, AND THEN RETURNS TO SIT. THEN HE UNZIPS THE POUCH AND BRINGS OUT TWO ITEMS: A VERY TINY, ALMOST INVISIBLE THREAD, AND AN AMULET ON WHICH A RED FEATHER IS TIED. HE GOES TO LAY THE TINY THREAD ON THE FLOOR AT THE DOOR, THEN HE RETURNS TO HIS DESK, PICKS THE OTHER ITEM, AND BEGINS MOUTHING ALMOST INAUDIBE INCANTATION. THE ONLY WORD CLEARLY AUDIBLE IS THE NAME TIYA, AGAIN AND AGAIN…
PASTOR (Sotto voice): Tiya… Tiya… Tiya…
HIS PHONE BEGINS TO RING. HE IGNORES IT TILL HE FINISHES THE INCANTATION. THEN THE PHONE BEGINS TO RING AGAIN. STILL HE IGNORES IT, PUTS THE OTHER STUFF BACK IN THE POUCH, AND PUTS THE POUCH BACK IN HIS DRAWER. THEN THE PHONE BEGINS TO RING A THIRD TIME. HE LOOKS AT THE SCREEN: TIYA CALLING…
PASTOR (On the phone): Hello, my sweet sister Tiya. Are you already here?
TIYA (Filtered): Almost. Are you busy, Pastor?
PASTOR: No, no, no! I am just preparing for you. I was actually praying. That’s why I could not pick the call the first two times.
TIYA (Filtered): We are actually parking now.
PASTOR (Frowns, alarmed): “We”? You are not coming alone anymore?
TIYA (Filtered): Oh no! My husband is not coming in. He only came to drop me.
PASTOR (Smiles, relieved): Oh, okay. Come right in.
TIYA (Filtered): Okay, thank you. I’ll be there in a bit.
THE PASTOR SMILES, CUTS THE CALL…
- INTERNAL, IN SOCIOLOGIST MICHAEL’S LIVING ROOM; AT DUSK
MICHAEL IS JUST RECOVERING FROM THE INITIAL SHOCK OF THE TELEVISION BREAKING NEWS, WHICH SUGGESTS TO HIM THAT HIS WIFE AWELE IS UNDER SIEGE OF BANDITS IN HER FRIEND NADI’S SALON. HE IS STILL PANICKY, STILL ON THE PHONE WITH HIS FRIEND, TANDA, STILL ON SPLIT SCREEN…
MICHAEL: …Yes, I know, but have you tried to call Nadi?
TANDA: Well, I called you first, Mike. Maybe I’m too scared to find out if she’s at the salon. She’s not always there, you know. Maybe she…
MICHAEL (Cuts in): She is there alright, Tanda, and so is my wife. I spoke with Awele not so long ago, and she said she was with Nadi in her salon. Hang up, hang up. I want to try Awele’s number now.
TANDA: Okay, yeah, I’ll call Nadi, too.
MICHAEL: Sure.
Cut…
- INT. KONO’S DINING. DUSK.
KONO IS ABOUT TO EAT. KNOCKS ON THE FRONT DOOR SOUND OUT LOUD TO HIM. HE MAKES TO RISE AND GO THERE. SELA RUSHES OUT FROM THE KITCHEN AND STOPS HIM…
SELA: Let me go and get that, Love. You go ahead and eat.
KONO: Okay, honey. Thanks.
SELA WALKS OUT OF SIGHT…
SELA (Out of sight): Who is it?
DAD (Out of sight): It is I, your senior husband!
THE DOOR OPENS. GREETING VOICES. SELA AND KONO’S DAD WALK OVER TO KONO AT THE DINING. KONO RISES AND PROSTRATES TO GREET HIS DAD…
DAD: You see? This is a good indication that I am truly a farmer! (Pauses a bit, then adds) Even though I only do it on the side.
HE BEGINS TO CHUCKLE. BOTH KONO AND SELA JOIN IN THE SMALL LAUGHTER…
SELA: Please, sit sir. Let me get you-
DAD (Cuts in): Oh, of course! Need you say that? Just hurry. And then call your mother in-law afterwards. You will be the reason I won’t eat her food this evening!
KONO: Hm. Then count your blessing that Mom likes you, honey. I know how she handles whoever and whatever makes Dad not to eat her food!
DAD: Do you blame her? She always takes her time to make every dish special!
KONO’S DAD PULLS A CHAIR AND SITS…
DAD: And from what I can see, Sela is doing that too. Sit and eat your food, Kono. And hurry too. You might want to come with me. I am going to see your pastor like I told you I would.
KONO (Sitting): You were really serious about that?
DAD: Hm?! Did you hear yourself? Someone insults my ancestors and you think I would be joking about such a thing?
KONO: But Dad, he didn’t mean it that way!
DAD: Will you just stop?!
KONO: But Dad, just think about it. Have you considered how it would make me look? Plus, to him, your action could also question your-
DAD (Cuts in): You care more about how my demanding an explanation makes you look than how his insulting our ancestors make us look?
KONO (Very calmly): Dad, that’s not what I am saying. I am just saying…
DAD: You’re just saying what?
SELA COMES OUT WITH DAD’S FOOD ON A TRAY, SERVES IT TO HIM, AND BEGINS TO POUR HIM A GLASS OF WATER…
DAD: Thank you, Sela my daughter. By the way, you don’t happen to think your husband is being reasonable that I don’t go and see your pastor, do you?
PUT AT A SPOT, SELA LOOKS AT KONO, THEN BACK AT KONO’S FATHER, THEN BACK AT KONO…
DAD (Smiling): Kono, will you stop glaring at her and let her tell me what she thinks?!
KONO (Smiles): Dad, I am not glaring at her!
DAD BEGINS TO EAT, SAVOURING THE FOOD…
DAD (Full mouth): Anyway, don’t say anything, Sela. I will do what I have decided to do. (To Kono) And that is whether you come with me or not. In fact, with the way you are already against my going back to him, I don’t think I want to go with you anymore!
KONO SHRUGS, GIVES UP. THEY GO ON EATING IN SILENCE…
- INTERNAL, IN NADI’S OFFICE WITHIN THE SALON; AT DUSK
NADI, AWELE, AND NADIA ARE STILL SQUIZED UNDER NADI’S OFFICE DESK. AWELE’S PHONE STARTS TO RING IN HER BAG, STARTLING THE TRIO INTO RENEWED PANIC. AWELE FRANTICALLY GRABS HER BAG TO SILENCE THE PHONE…
NADI (Whispering): O my God! Now they know that we’re here, Awe.
THE PHONE STOPS RINGING…
Cut…
- INTERNAL, IN SOCIOLOGIST MICHAEL’S LIVING ROOM; SAME TIME
MICHAEL IS PRESSING HIS PHONE TO HIS EAR, FRANTICALLY SHOUTING INTO IT…
MICHAEL: Hello! Hello! Awe, are you there?! Sweetheart, say something, will you!
- INTERNAL, BACK IN NADI’S SALON OFFICE; SAME TIME
NADI AND CO ARE WHISPERING TO…
NADI: Who was that?
AWELE: I don’t know. I didn’t answer it…just silenced the ringing.
NADIA: But you should have answered it, Awele, to tell somebody what is going on.
AWELE: I was not thinking. I panicked, okay.
NADI: Never mind that now. I hope you switched it off so that it doesn’t ring again.
- INT. PASTOR’S OFFICE. DUSK.
HIS DEAK IS NOW DISORGANISED: BOOKS STACKED WRONGLY, TWO OR THREE BIBLES OPEN, JOTTERS OPEN RIGHT ON TOP OF EACH BIBLE. HE IS NOW WAITING AND WATCHING THE DOOR. SOFT KNOCKS SOUND ON THE DOOR…
PASTOR: Is that you, my sweet sister Tiya?
TIYA (OUT OF SIGHT): Yes, Pastor.
PASTOR: Come right in.
THE DOOR OPENS AND TIYA WALKS IN AND GREETS…
PASTOR: My dear sweet sister! Welcome! Would you like to rest a bit before we begin?
TIYA: No, Pastor. My husband will come back for me before long.
PASTOR: I like that. (He smiles) No rest, not even deserved ones, should keep a serious business waiting.
TIYA: You’re right, Pastor.
PASTOR: Very well, go in there and uh… ready up while I tidy my table.
TIYA (Confused): Uh…ready up, Pastor?
PASTOR: Yes! Ready up.
TIYA: I uh…don’t quite get it, Pastor.
PASTOR (Smiles): Then let me explain it to you, my dear sweet sister. The marine spirit husband that I told you about…what does he do to you that makes it impossible for you to get pregnant?
TIYA: I uh…don’t know, Pastor. You didn’t tell me about that.
PASTOR: Alright. Let’s look at it this way then. What do husband and wife do in order for the wife to get pregnant?
TIYA: Well, they sleep. They sleep together.
PASTOR: No need for euphemisms, my sweet sister. I am your pastor. And I am neither a kid nor a virgin. Husband and wife have sex. Yes?
TIYA: Yes.
PASTOR: So when brother plants his seed in you through sex, what does the bad spirit husband do afterwards?
TIYA: Uh… Uh… Uh…
PASTOR: Let’s not waste valuable time on this. The bad spirit either plants his own seed or removes that of brother in you. So, you have two forces working on you: a good force which is brother, and the a force which is the spirit husband. Is it clear so far?
TIYA: Yes, Pastor.
PASTOR: Good. And every fight between two people needs a third, a neutral person to arbitrate. Right?
TIYA: Right?
PASTOR: Perfect! And to do an objective arbitration of a fight, a trustworthy arbiter must use the same mode as the fighters. I hope that too is clear to you, dear sweet Tiya?
TIYA LOOKS AT THE PASTOR KIND OF SHOCKED BUT FINDS HERSELF UBABLE TO DISAGREE…
LINK TO EPISODE 16:
AFROCULTURAL DRAMAS ON RELIGIONS AND CULTURE, “IN GOD’S NAME,” EPISODE 16