May 28, 2023
Greetings!
Welcome to episode 12 of Afro-Scope’s AfroCultural InfoTainment drama series, “In God’s Name.” I am Harry Agina. We ended the last episode with Kono’s funky pastor, Pastor K, still in panic. He had finally told his wife part of the danger, and she was now in panic, too. As for Sociologist Michael’s “serious” talk with his wife, Awele, it did happen, and Awele is now in trouble for, according to Michael, being “too close for comfort with Daddy Gabriel” of Embassy Church. Not to speak of Tiya and her husband, and their brewing relationship with Pastor K, which is gradually unfolding. All these, and more, on Afro-Scope’s “In God’s Name” AfroCultural InfoTainment Drama Series. And here is episode 12 for ya!:
IN GOD’S NAME, 12
- EXT. STREET (IN CAR). MORNING.
TIYA IS BEHIND THE WHEELS. HER HUSBAND IS BUSY ON HIS TABLET. THIS MAKES THEIR CHAT SPARCE AND DISJOINTED, WHICH UPSETS TIYA…
TIYA: …so what do you think?
HUBBY
(Distracted): Huh? Oh, yeah!
TIYA: Oh yeah? Did you even hear what I said at all?
HUBBY (Still distracted): Huh? Oh yeah, of course!
TIYA: Honey, this is not fair. It is not fair at all. Is it because this is all just about me?
HUBBY (Stops): What?!
TIYA (Angrily): You have not heard a word of all I have been saying since we left home! All you keep saying is “Hun? Oh, yeah. Hun? Oh, yeah!” So I ask again: is it because this is all just about me?
THE HUSBAND IS VERY CONFUSED THAT SHE IS SO UPSET. THEN HE SHUTS DOWN, CLOSES THE TABLET, PUTS IT IN HIS BAG, AND GIVES HER HIS FULL ATTENTION…
HUBBY: Alright, I am sorry. You now have my whole attention. What is all just about you?
TIYA: The spirit husband that needs to be exorcised!
HUBBY: Oh! Is that all this is about?
TIYA: You see? I knew it.
SHE SLOWS DOWN, PULLS TO THE KERB, AND STOPS IN ANGER…
HUBBY: Why are you stopping?
TIYA: You expect me to drive like this? You are making this so impossible and you think everything is quite okay!
HUBBY: Honey, what is going on?
TIYA CUTS THE ENGINE, GETS OUT OF THE CAR, AND WALKS ROUND TO THE HUBBY’S SIDE…
TIYA: You drive!
HUBBY: Honey, what in the world is eating you up like this?
TIYA: And this is what I really hate and you know it. You cause a major misunderstanding and just pretend nothing is amiss! Look, you either move there and drive or I will call a taxi now.
HUBBY: Tiya, come on!
IN ANGER, SHE OPENS THE BACK DOOR, PICKS HER BAGS AND STUFF, WALKS AWAY TO STAND, GETS HER PHONE, AND BEGINS TO CALL UBER. THE HUBBY IS SHOCKED AND CONFUSED. THEN HE SHAKES HIS HEAD…
HUBBY (To self…): Gosh! I knew going to this pastor could cause this kind of problem for us. If only I had said no!
SOON, AN UBER PULLS TO A STOP BEFORE TIYA. SHE OPENS THE DOOR, ENTERS, AND THEY DRIVE AWAY. THE HUBBY GETS OUT, WALKS TO THE DRIVER’S SEAT, STARTS THE ENGINE, AND DRIVES AWAY…
- EXT. STREET. MORNING.
KONO AND HIS COLLEAGUE ED WALKING BRISKLY AND CHATTING…
ED: I don’t think Sela wants your parents to see you as weak as you assume. On the contrary, I think she is proving herself to be a strong ally.
KONO (Chuckles): You don’t know what you are taking about. Wait till you marry.
ED: Well, I do know what I am talking about, my man. I do. Yes, I may never have married. But I have lived with…
A CAR STOPS BESIDE THEM, NEARLY BRUSHING ED, CUTTING HIM SHORT…
ED: Hey! Watch your driving!
TIYA’S HUBBY: Hey, Brother Kono!
KONO STOPS, BENDS TO SEE WHO CALLED HIM FROM THE CAR…
KONO: Hey! How are you doing, my brother!
ED (Humorously): ou nearly brushed me, brother man!
TIYA’S HUBBY (Smiles): Sorry about that. Hop in, you two! Even a hundred metres’ lift is something.
KONO AND ED ENTER. THE CAR DRIVES OFF…
TIYA’S HUBBY: What are you doing along here anyway? I have never seen you here before.
KONO: Traffic, man. My usual route is totally jammed. So we detoured here. Sadly, we could not get a cab.
ED: And I said a capital NO to the idea of calling an Uber.
TIYA’S HUBBY: But why? My wife called one just a couple of minutes ago and it didn’t take quite 5 minutes before one came to pick her.
KONO: She called an Uber? But why?
TIYA’S HUBBY: Claimed I was not paying attention to what she was saying when I had to get something urgently sorted on my tablet. Anyway, you know women!
KONO (To Ed): See? Isn’t that the same sort of thing I was talking about?
ED: I think it depends. In your case, Sela is only trying to get you out of the grip of the pastor! We don’t know what this is-
TIYA’S HUBBY (Cuts in, to Kono): You two have an issue that has to do with that pastor too? Ours also has to do with the pastor, man. Idiot told my wife she has a marine spirit husband!
ED: Jesus Holy Christ!
KONO: What?! “Jesus Holy Christ” coming from an atheist?
TIYA’S HUBBY: An atheist?! You’re an atheist, man?
ED (Chuckles): Calm down, guys! That was just an exclamation!
TIYA’S HUBBY (To Ed): Relax, man. With the way Pentecostal pastors are going now, I am beginning to have second thoughts too. Imagine that Oyakhilome of a man even telling his teeming blind followers that there is no such thing as African culture! And none of them is questioning him.
ED: And now here is your own so-called anointed man of God, telling someone else’s wife that she has a marine spirit husband! Bloody interesting!
THEY DRIVE ON IN SILENCE FOR A WHILE…
TIYA’S HUBBY: Look, don’t let me take you off your route, guys. Let me know where you need to alight.
KONO: Thank you. We are still good.
THEY DRIVE ON IN SILENCE…
- INTERNAL, IN NADI’S HAIR-DRESSING SHOP, IN THE DAY
TANDA IS MICHAEL THE SOCIOLOGIST’S FRIEND. MICHAEL’S WIFE, AWELE, AND TANDA’S WIFE, NADI, ARE FRIENDS, TOO. LIKE AWELE, NADI IS A YOUNG LADY. NADI’S HAIR-DRESSING BOUTIQUE IS BUBBLING WITH ACTIVITIES. NADI IS SEATED IN A CONVERSATION WITH ANOTHER YOUNG WOMAN AT ONE CORNER OF THE SHOP WHEN AWELE WALKS IN. NADI EXCITEDLY JUMPS FROM HER SEAT AS SHE SEES AWELE COMING THROUGH THE DOOR, AND RUNS TO HER. THEY EMBRACE ALMOST IN A CRASH…
NADI (Excitedly): You finally made it! Look at you!
NADI GENTLY PUSHES AWELE OFF, IN A MELODRAMATIC APPRECIATING-EXAMINATION OF HER FRIEND’S BEAUTY. AWELE COMPLIES BY SPINNING AROUD TO SHOW OFF HERSELF…
NADI: Umm huh! Gorgeous, as ever!
AWELE (Matching excitement): Look who is talking. I’m only trying to catch up with you, girl.
NOW IT’S NADI’S TURN TO SHOW OFF, AS SHE SPINS AROUND. NATURALLY, NADI’S WORKERS AND CUSTOMERS ARE WATCHING THE LITTLE SHOW. NADI GRABS AWELE BY THE HAND…
NADI: Come on, let’s go to my office…(TO HER WORKERS) Okay, ladies, the show is over…back to work!
NADI IS LITERALLY PULLING HER FRIEND TO THE DIRECTION OF HER OFFICE…
Cut…
- INT. TIYA’S BOUTIQUE. DAY.
SHE DIALS HER PHONE FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME. IT RINGS. BUT IT IS NOT PICKED. NOW SHE BEGINS TO PACE, WORRIED. THEN THE FRONT DOOR OPENS AND SHE LOOKS THAT WAY EXPECTING A CUSTOMER. HER HUBBY WALKS IN…
TIYA: What in the world happened? I have called your number a thousand times at least!
HUBBY: You knew I was driving.
TIYA: But what took you so long?
HUBBY: Traffic.
TIYA: Traffic? There was no traffic when I came. We encountered no traffic at all!
HUBBY: I know. But I gave brother Kono and his friend a lift and decided to go and drop them at their office. And that was where I ran into traffic. You can call him and confirm.
TIYA: That’s okay. I actually saw him walking with someone too. Anyway, thank God you’re safe.
HUBBY: Yeah.
HE WALKS OVER TO THEIR CUBICLE. SHE FOLLOWS HIM IN. HE DROPS HIS TABLET, SITS, AND FACES HER…
HUBBY: Now, sit. Time to finish that talk.
HAPPILY, TIYA PULLS A CHAIR AND SITS…
Cut…
- INTERNAL, BACK IN NADI’S OFFICE IN HER BOUTIQUE; IN THE DAY
NADI AND AWELE ARE SEATED IN THE OFFICE…
NADI: My sister, Awele, I am beginning to get uncomfortable with the way Tanda is taking his anti-Pentecostal Christianity war lately. I mean,…
AWELE (Cuts in): You, too? Ah, I don’t know what your husband did or say, but I assure you that mine is worse!
NADI (Surprised): Really? What happened?
AWELE: My dear, he literally accused me of sleeping with Daddy Gabriel…
NADI: You, too?! That’s what Tanda accused me of, too. Well, not quite so directly, but he said that he is no longer comfortable with me going to Daddy Gabriel’s church. He doesn’t trust me around him…or, was it that he doesn’t trust him around me?
AWELE: They must have discussed it…I mean, your husband and mine.
NADI: Yes, they did. Otherwise, why are they both suddenly acting so suspicious?
AWELE: And both suddenly fighting Pentecostal Christianity and the pastors.
NADI: Well, I have told Tanda that I am not leaving my church.
AWELE: Just like that?
NADI: How else do you want me to say it? I don’t tell him what church to go to, do I?
AWELE: But, Nadi, I have been telling you to learn how to handle men and get what you want without all the fights.
NADI: Yes, I know. You and your seduction game. But I cannot be you, Awe. I am who I am, Nadi. He knew about me before he married me.
AWELE: Well, you’d better learn to change a little o. It’s going to be easier for you. Learn how to calm Tanda down when he is angry…
NADI: He’d better learn how to stop being so angry.
AWELE: Mike was never like this, until…
SHE TRAILS OFF, AND SUDDENLY GOES QUIET, IN A REFLECTIVE TRANCE-LIKE MOOD. NADI LOOKS CURIOUSLY AT HER…
NADI: Until what, Awe?
AWELE IS QUIET, STILL REFLECTIVE.
NADI (Melodramatic): Hello! Knock, knock. Anybody home?
AWELE SNAPS OUT OF HER TRANCE
AWELE: Sorry…
NADI: Never mind that. You said Mike was never like this, until dot, dot, dot. Until what?
AWELE: I told you what happened the day I practically dragged Mike to Embassy Church.
NADI: Yes, the thing about African Culture, and Mike was angry with Daddy Gabriel.
AWELE: But I didn’t tell you the part that Mike also believes that there is something going on between Daddy G and me from that day.
NADI (Suspiciously): Is there?
AWELE (Offensive): Is there what? I don’t like your sarcastic tone.
NADI (High spirit): Sorry about that, but what did Mike see? We’re friends, Awe, and friends tell each other things. Come on, girl, spill it.
AWELE: Mike believes that Daddy G and I are “too close for comfort,” as he put it.
NADI: But what gave him that idea? I tell you what. Why don’t I make it easy for you, Awe. Suppose I tell you that Daddy Gabriel, or Daddy G, as you so fondly call him, flirted with me once.
AWELE: He did?
NADI: Sure did. And I must confess that I enjoyed his flattery, girl.
AWELE: You?
NADI: Why not? He’s such a handsome man. Pastors are just human like you and me, Awe. They have blood running in their veins, too. And you know what the running blood does to a man when he sees beauties like you and me, girl.
NADI IS GETTING MISCHEVOUS, WITH A LONGING IN HER VOICE AND EYES, AND AWELE IS UNCONFORTABLE. SHE LOOKS TO ENSURE THAT THE DOOR IS SHUT.
AWELE (Cautious, and whispering): Don’t be so loud, girl. Are you saying that you want to…
NADI: No wait, Awe. Before we continue about me, why don’t you tell me what happened during the fateful meeting between your husband Mike and Daddy G first.
AWELE LOOKS AT HER FRIEND, HESITANT TO REPLY…
Fade-out…
END
Written by Michael Shaibu and Harry Agina
Well, there you have it. Nadi and Awele, and their-fantasy gossip about Daddy Gabriel. All the men in this story, for various reasons, are unhappy or uncomfortable with the new-wave Pentecostal Christian pastors and their “teeming blind followers,” as Tiya’s hubby put it. The only exception is Kono who doesn’t see anything wrong with his own scamming Pastor K, despite all the admonition by everybody close to him. He is apparently hooked.
Do remember that these are the true picture of the goings-on in the contemporary African Pentecostal Christianity, championed by Nigeria, in West Africa. Mind you, we haven’t even begun to scratch the surface of the outlandish antics of the Pentecostal pastors. Wait until you see why Kono’s “Pastor K” made his emergency visit to a man who he calls Baba, after Kono’s father’s confrontation. What was it that Baba gave him, and for what? Please follow us on all social media handles to stay connected as the plots unfold. Until the next episode, this is Harry Agina, signing off for now.
Cheers!
LINK TO EPISODE 13:
AFROCULTURAL DRAMAS ON RELIGIONS AND CULTURE, “IN GOD’S NAME,” EPISODE 13