July 16, 2022

No Bullshitting!!! (By Harry Agina)


This is “No Bullshitting,” by Harry Agina.

This is “No Bullshitting,” by Harry Agina. And this is edition 6 of NBB’s “1001 Reasons Why Nigerians Must Reject APC candidates In 2023 Elections.” Folks, I had chats about this series on various platforms, with two NBB fans-cum-critics. One is a Nigerian, and the other is a Caucasian-American. Both debates were on edition 4 of this series, which I posted last week. I lambasted APC’s 2023 presidential candidate, Bola Ahmed Tinubu. The Nigerian dude is actually a regular fan of NBB, according to him. So, he’s a good reasonable critic, named Anejodo Everest Ojochide. As for the white dude, he was just shooting the breeze with me…no biggie. “I’ve come to know and identify ‘No Bullshitting’ with objectivity; this seems different,” Joe said. By “this” he meant edition 4 of this series where I lambasted Tinubu. Joe only wanted to know my reason for the “lack of objectivity this time,” considering the fact that there are two other major candidates in the race. My response to both dudes was ready and waiting, because it’s the essence of the campaign. The idea is to reject the ruling APC political party in Nigeria, and it’s not a happenstance idea. Responding to the two critics has reminded me of the need to explain this campaign a little further to other readers, too. Here it is, starting with the comment and questions by the Nigerian dude, thus:

“What a biased analysis! Tinubu purchased APC’s presidential ticket with dollars? What did Atiku do with that of your party’s presidential ticket? Why should Atiku seek for the Nigerian votes? He’s a serial defector who lost SDP presidential primary to Abiola in the 1993 presidential election. Why does he want peoples’ votes for the same office about 30 years after?” He concluded with, “And, Atiku, by your judgement, isn’t a thief?”

I was a bit thrown off by the dude’s bit on Atiku and the 1993 SDP matter. I wasn’t around when it happened, and I don’t quite see the relevancy here. But, hey, the dude was nice, and I love sensible criticisms/critiques and debates. They often accord me the opportunity to convert my critics into disciples of the mission. So, though confused a bit about the Nigerian dude’s reference, I did pick the essence of his query. And here’s my response:

“Bros, I love constructive and decent disagreements, like yours. It’s impossible for the entire humanity to agree on anything, at any time. There must always be disagreements on issues among us. It’s great to chat with people like you who understand how to disagree without fighting. You deserve a good response. Who knows, maybe I will even turn you into my disciple…hahahaaah!

“But, seriously, bros, you are absolutely correct that my commentary is biased, no doubt. But you need to pay attention to the fact that it is advisedly so. Look at my titling and theme again. They do say the key purpose of my patriotic campaign against the APC political party. The commentary that you have criticized says that Nigerians Must Reject APC And It’s Candidates…all of them. The theme also gives you my reason, which the entire world knows. Here it is again—the dangerously bigoted and clannish Buhari has used his APC bunch of crooks to destroy Nigeria. Tinubu who is the National leader stood by and watched the destruction. Now he wants to take over and lead his co-traveling crooks to bury Nigeria. They must be stopped, period!

“We must also stop the bullshitting hush-hush attitude of Nigerians. It’s high time we started speaking the truth, straight and direct, to shame the devil. The devil that we see and know today in Nigeria are people like Tinubu and Buhari, and the rest, who have turned the lives of Nigerians into hell on earth. We must call a criminal ruler what he is—an evil crook! Enough of the hush-hush bullshit already! Fuck the bullshit about “innocent until proven guilty in court.” That works only in civilized democracies. It doesn’t work in Nigeria, because the fucked-up court system does not ever convict the real crooks in Nigeria. Some judges are compromised crooks themselves, and others are intimidated to set the crooks free. We, The People, must take our own destiny in our hands, and convict the crooks by ourselves in the contemporary “Peoples’ Court,” the social media. The idea is to stop them from continuing to destroy our country. We may not be able to put them away in prison as our formal court should do for us, but we can at least kick them out of power through the enlightenment of the people who vote. Let the motherfuckers sue us to their own compromised court when we call them what they are in our own court. Our evidence is overwhelming, meeeeeeeeen!!!

“Secondly, and very relevant to your accusation of “bias against Tinubu,” relative to his PDP counterpart, Atiku Abubakar. As I said already, you are correct that the commentary in question is biased. But my theme in the campaign nullifies the potency of your criticism. My campaign theme and objective do state, clearly, that ‘Even dogs under a K-9 Political Party would be better for Nigeria in 2023, than APC and it’s bunch of crooks.’ Now, do you understand why there is no need to mention Atiku and PDP, or any other party? It’s a focused campaign, specifically to rid Nigeria of the evils of Buhari, Tinubu, and their gang of thieves. In the spirit of this campaign, one Atiku and one PDP are better than a thousand Buhari, a gazillion Tinubu, and their den of thieves. By my reconning, I repeat, even dogs are better! Don’t forget that point when you accuse me of bias. My thesis is built on bias against APC, in order to save Nigeria, meeeeeeen!!!

“In a different campaign series or category, we may get into comparing Atiku and Tinubu. We can then get into the “unbiased” stuff that you rightly pointed out, bro. Not now! Trust me, if and when that time of comparison comes, I would be objective. Bros, I truly can never understand nice persons like you, who believe that the ailing crook called Tinubu has any honor that is worthy for you to defend? This is a man who tells us that he is only five or six years older than his own daughter, just to reduce his age for criminal purpose. He has almost been lying his head off about his educational background. He is so dumb that he can’t even lie property like a sane adult. And you think that he can run Nigeria? Before you tell me of his so-called achievements, I’ll tell you, my response. All that Tinubu did in Lagos state and other southwest states all these years, was to rob those states of their wealth. Any criminal thug can do that. It doesn’t make him a master politician, as you guys in Nigeria make him out to look.

“Finally, I will respond to your swipe at me when you said, “your PDP party.” Your swipe means that you don’t quite understand my drive. First off, I am not a party man, no sir! I don’t belong to any party. I am absolutely apolitical! If I, as a person, or “No Bullshitting,” as a blog character will support any candidate or any party, that has neither been declared nor even decided yet. But generally, I am interested in candidates, and not their parties. Meanwhile, I am just a Communications and Media professional, doing my little patriotic bit to contribute to the current revolutionary mission to save Nigeria from crooks, meeeeeeeeeeen!!!”

It’s been over a week since my response to my Nigerian critic, but I haven’t heard from him again. Usually, this may mean that he has given up, because he now sees that I make some sense. As for the white dude, we agreed there and then that my campaign is great, once he understood my drive. But, really, if only Nigerians would be honest, killing Tinubu’s mischievous presidential ambition is very easy. His terrible integrity record and ill health make him totally unqualified. Hopefully, the nation’s civil society groups will soon join the campaign to reject the APC party that has destroyed Nigeria. Specifically, Bola Tinubu, must not be elected as president with his criminal record, to lead the APC den of thieves to bury Nigeria.

Now, if you ask me, I would swear that you know, that I ain’t bullshitting ya, meeeeeeeeeeen!!!



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